life's a one way road

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

of closure and erasure
the opportunity came by and i acted upon the advice lizard gave the last time. so i did it... without much thot. maybe coz it no longer affects me. wat more i had an exam paper thereafter. so i did wat i wanted to do. and i've concluded that this officially marks the closure of it all. the inability to continue writing the story... a continuation of the variant of the story lies not on my part. so your story ends here.
closure.
any association will be carefully buried n hidden. possibly gotten rid of. scars left behind will forever be imprinted though i believe that they will be surface one day in time to come. i just pray that they slowly fade away just like how the scars from our childhood have slowly disappeared. i pray that they will never have to be resurfaced again. everything will go... physically n figuritively. i'll prolly take back the words n potential action that i've posted before.
erased.

2 papers down. 1 paper to go. Afterwhich, it's clearing up time.

sun sets @ 12:02 PM

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

demoralized.
very demoralized.
:(

sun sets @ 10:45 PM

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.port.ports.ported.porting.portify.portification.porticize.
going crazy. thank goodness it's open book or not die... but open book also can die... scaly all the conceptual qns come out. i will faint.
dun feel like studying anymore. i feel like sleeping. going out to play. essentially slack to sum it all.

sun sets @ 8:24 PM

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itchy itchy scratchy scratchy....
SO ITCHY!
cannot take it....
now i wish i took up medicine. then specialize n be a dermatologist. then i'll be busy counting cash. Blehz... 1 month advance booking just to make an appointment with my specialist :s

sun sets @ 12:18 PM

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Monday, November 27, 2006

corpsif-IED. Become CORPSE today. Officially goner.
DEAD.
Or*pui... see you next term. Tmd...
Somehow i knew i was a goner when i walked into the exam half. My mind was blank. Thank goodness i worked midway thru and i started being able to calculate BUT still it's a buang-er. TMD TMD TMD. suddenly that POS suddenly become so hardworking n read up on sg FRS. Brrarrrdyyyy helll.... Sian lah... N knowing myself way to well... I'm so sure that the week after the exams, my mind will suddenly seee the light for corpse. BUT it's too late liaoz... coz my fate has been sealed by then. Darn... why dun we haf something called RE-EXAM just like merciful JIbs. Booohooooo....
Now i'm offf to portify... then stratify....
Shucks... maybe the order is all wrong that's why so buang. Should be stratify then portify then corpsify lah... Haiz...
Watever lah... over liaoz... Shall chao pia for port port port. TB twice the thickness of corpse... How much more goner can i get... BLEHZ.
Dear ships,
Pls call at my port & plant ya ass in my brains.
With love,
Shar
(signs of insanity)

sun sets @ 8:09 PM

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8 hours to doom-dom. but wth. blogging n blog-surfing. not that i'm confident but rather i feel hopeless.
n i'm not exactly happy.
saw this on someone's blog. Thot it's really sweet, beautiful. (to you: hope you dun mind me reaping off... :P)

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hangup on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "..that's her."

How many of us have such fortune to grab such a guy...

sun sets @ 1:06 AM

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

OMG. Someone just kill me now...
Consolidations. Adjustments. TMD.
end my misery now... blehz....
just remember to collect my corpse tml at noon. Burn it. Scatter the ashes into the sea.
Thanks.

sun sets @ 10:09 PM

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i know i shouldn't be blogging n i should be cramping more shit into my brains... but argh... i can't... nothing seems to be going in at all... my brains have grown cobwebs... and i'm really deemed to be corpsified. Frigging corp(se) report. such a bitch... +_)(*&^%$#@!~ I keep falling asleep... the appeal of my bed is simply irrestible... blehz...
I'm just waiting for my impending doom... blehz... buang corp report seems so damn close.... I'm just praying that i will pass marginally so that i won't haf to take it again. Blehz. I had enough of finance... Dun want to touch any financial books for the next sem. Booohoooo.....
Needs more motivation to mug...
:(

sun sets @ 8:17 PM

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Friday, November 24, 2006

i miss travelling....
i miss camwhoring...
i seriously think i'm in the wrong course...
hate my life or rather the life that lacks a real life...

darling take me to a place where only we know...

sun sets @ 8:18 PM

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shit it's friday....
i'm way back on my mugging
but the weather is simply to nice for me to ignore my bed.
blehz.

i know wat i want for christmas liao... Wahahaha... But i shall not put upp the wishlist here.... at least not today.... keke...Shall not make life so easy for pple. Kekeke... ;) Memories are alwiz better than gifts i guess n it's the thot that counts. Maybe it's time to start socumenting the beautiful times in my life so that i can read back on them when all my hair has turned white and haf to read through old-flower-specs.
Hmmm... looks like i'll get my kharma when i haf to shop for prezzies.... Nvm...

Resemblance. strange enough i saw 2 resemblance of my friends yesterday. one had a side profile exactly similar to my friend... features too... and the mannerism as well.... scary... which reminds me.... to the boy in aussie... where haf u been ah? haven heard from u..... die liaoz ah??? BOOO... quick come homeee....
And i saw another one who looked exactly like the old boy. I turned my head n momentarily thot i saw him O_o. the face, hairstyle. welll less the dressing which he will never be spotted in those clothes. N the thot came... if it really was him... would u acknowledge my presence? would i? would we ever get into a conversation of long-lost friends catching up? well... i'll prolly just drop u a smile since i'll haf nothing much to say....

back to mugging... sighz. miserable life.

sun sets @ 3:45 PM

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

counting down the days to exams.
getting very worried. stressed. frustrated.
it's such a challenge trying to balance between work n studying.
never thot it would be so tough.
can only blame self for having such rusty brains of late.
blehz.

despite the shit the office is going thru
i'm thankful for havin pretty nice bosses
but yet at times i can't tahan them
now that i know how to do more things
i fear the impending load.
maybe i should just hide in my own world n just do my own things
which seems never ending
where's my backup???
:(

fears... i wish i could conquer some of them
maybe i should
see how things go
and how far i want to take them

just want to find a nice place to rest n recharge
even if it means just lying on someone's shoulders

sun sets @ 2:41 AM

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

the frigging last report to go...
OMG.
and very soon... hopefully tml morning.. i can announce its completion.
Blehz.. Left my part which is giving me hell
:(
It's highly depressing when u really can't get it.
trudging through the endless numbers which seemingly makes no sense to me
but thank god for my shen project mate who let me harrass her
while i try to cramp some excelling in between office hours. oppz...
Thanks JIA!
But once again i'm still stumped. Boohooo...
what seems like simple has got me all jammed up.
The stupid graph refuses to pick up the right figures to draw my graph
n i can't get the axis rite.
Am i dumb or wat?
Where did all my excel skills go?
Prolly back to LTY. Haiz.
Suck suck suck.
Excel hates me. First data analysis suddenly became non-existant on my 苹果 then the graph
wat's up tml manz?
Booohoooo....
Officially lagging in my revision.
*prays i get my half-day tml*

sun sets @ 4:00 AM

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

yesterday officially marked the downing of one more report.
n today i'm suppose to embark on doing the other one...
BUT my lazy ass refuses to movee.... blehz....

getting all depressive again...
the headache's back...

i just feel like lying in bed n rotting my life away...

sun sets @ 12:30 PM

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late night talks in the office serves a tired mind no good....
so wat happens when a mother of 3 who has kids telling her that they would give up the toys just to haf her at home, a going to get married woman n a yet to graduate still not knowing wat she wants in life embarks on a conversation...
naturally it's about kids & getting married. But obviously i have nothing to parttake in this conversation.. other than knowing that i want to haf my own family n kids. N how i hope the career woman syndrom won't get to me...

it's amazing how some pple never wanted kids when they were younger but enjoy having kids when they got older
and how some pple wanted kids but can never haf them...

so thy boss thinks having kids is fun. though i dun see how that is fun but yeah kids are a bundle of joy...

so how many kids do you want?

sun sets @ 1:41 AM

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Monday, November 20, 2006

wat happens when parts of the report comes to ya mailbox only at 1230am when it's suppose to be sitting there when u open it at 5pm?
wat happens when the report is due in 5pm on the same day?
wat happens when u realize that some part of the report is missing n left unwritten?
Ans:
1) you know u dun need to sleep tonite
2) you know u feel like killing someone
3) you just feel like fucking care the report n do ya own work
well at least i haf a fellow compiler... but not as though both of us can work on it at the same time... blehz

sun sets @ 12:51 AM

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Haf you ever wondered the implications of telling someone
I miss you. or
I love you.
it never dawned upon me that these 2 lines may not alwiz bring about a smile on the other person's face. just that day the thot suddenly came n made me wonder... maybe all the sweet stuff does not make the other half happy as I would when i received them. If the other person is bobbed down by work n all... the i miss you will just make him feel bad that u've been neglected. or how lil time he spends with you. or how it shows u never considered his feelings when u say all these. or it's just another stress factor... something that he has to plan n set time aside for. but that shouldn't be a case either....
it's just like how i dun like being told that i've been missed esp by pple whom i will never miss... n dun ask if i miss u coz chances are that if i do... i'll tell u... or mayb never tell u... but i would definitely find you to go out, to talk, to sms or to msn. Anw with my new found thot... chances u'll hear anything along those 2 lines from me will be slim....
well nothing is a fairy tale... n i've stopped dreaming of the fairytale that lil childhood stories and shows have internalized in our systems... it's time to build my own fairytale story... a realistic one...
for now... exams are depressive... eso those where u have no confidence in. n i haf little control in making myself work n that sucks... and so for the next 2 weeks u'll haf a grouchy oscar n depressive friend or rather time bomb....
hang in there all of u...
and shar get ya ass to reading port....

sun sets @ 11:32 PM

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love love love ittttt.........

sun sets @ 7:09 PM

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KO-ed for 12 hours straight. Wheee... I had my time & I had time for everyone else too... mainly the gals. makes me a happy gal. well at least i dun haf to hear the usual 'zhong se qing you' comments from zee 2 gals. n i officially concluded that my chinese sucks coz i can't remember the characters for zhong se qing you. blehz. So now it's back to pia-ing projects n mugging. Blehz.
No more playing for the next 2 weeks. then it's nirvana once again.
of holidays......
Then i will crave for a short trip out which seems like no one has time for :(
But at least HK trip seems pretty confirmed less the most impt of booking of air tix. Wahahaha... Disneyland here i comeeee....
Shanghai n beijing.... hmmmm... i dunno when to go... needs to find kakis... then comes
Taiwan...
and will i get to go for grad trip??? n with whom????
of conversations.......
so everyone is getting married earlier n earlier.... plsss warn me early if u going to drop the bomb on meeee.....
so we still can't figure wat's dating, together n officially together... that still remains grey....
so we r gluts n lazy bums... nuahing at someone's place n planning for some days r our favourite activities :P

and off i need to go for lunch n compile reporttttt...

sun sets @ 1:36 PM

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:)
silly old me...

sun sets @ 12:28 AM

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Friday, November 17, 2006

officially conclude that it's really nice to be picked up from work. even calling n taking a cab also means getting chauffeured home... but it's different. could sense the happiness of my colleague from her sms coz her bf was picking her up... n how my boss happily waits for her hubby to pick her.
it's strange coz even i get the happy feeling when some nice friend comes pick me up... -shurgs-
for now.. i'm contented cabbing home... at least i dun haf to drive when i'm sleepy n drained. .

sun sets @ 1:54 AM

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

i know i said i'll be abandoning this space with a chat with a friend that day made me realize that i can't bear to leave this space... so this space will be tons of nonseniscal rantings of mine... whaahaha.....

so today's officially the alst day of sch for me. Wahahaha... Study break n exams to go. Haiz... 1 presentaiton down.. 2 reports n 1 presentation... 3 exams to go...

starting to hate sch a lil more nowadays... maybe next sem should be left for me to idle...blehz...

just looking forward to tml's dinner... wahahaha... n i hope there's more to look forward to... prolly drinks n mofffieeeeeeee

sun sets @ 1:51 PM

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Monday, November 13, 2006

i'm starting to feel that i need to protect my world once again
i dun want it messed up - not now
i dun want to make life difficult for anyone
i just need to know my world is solely my world without some pple knowing.
so i guess it's time to disengage
watch i say

and i guess this space has to go

sun sets @ 3:15 AM

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19 days to nir-va-na....
it's going to be a long long 19 days...
my mind is working OT to think of wat to do... haha
1) SHOP
2) MOVIES
3) EXERCISE
4) fix my jigsaw
5) prepare xmas party
6) sort out my xchange pixs
7) meet up with the world whom i've neglected
Haha... enough of things to do for the break...
For now... i haf
1) OCD report... i'm still at it
2) Strat report
3) Strat presentation
4) Port unit trust report
5) Port unit trust presentation
6) Port rest of qns
7) Corp exam... this one i scared :(
8) Port exam...
9) Strat exam
I hope this list stays at 9. cannot breathe liaoz....
and 3 days MC from work n i've been warned by 3 colleagues that my work is piling. seems like it.... wat i left off on tues is still there. WTF. wat the hell is the person who's suppose to cover my work doing xia??? *faintz*

sun sets @ 1:08 AM

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

SUNNY SUNDAY!
it's the happy weather!
sunny. but yet the sun isn't too strong n it's not hot n humid. it's nice cool n breezy.
it's not the fierce sun. it's the amiable sun out to play with the kids! wahahaha....

just like this type of days.
it just cheers me up.
staring out of my window...not much of a view
but i'll see how the sun hits on the leaves of the i-dunno-wat-tree
and the leaves illuminate. the intensity is such that it makes the leaves kinda absorb a lil of the light n yet seem to reflect a part of the sun. so the leaves are like shiny n illuminating. and the busy bee/hornet/wasp (watever it is) flying from flower to flower... busy at work...
incoherent.. i need my nap.. n my mum thinks i live in a sty. so pig am i. ladida....
can i go out n play......

sun sets @ 2:23 PM

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smoke came out of the fruit juice machine. OMG. I got smoked fruit juice. Haha...

mum: i announce the demise of the fruit juice machine.
me: oh so sad. then go buy new one lor
mum: ya but for now we can use the other new one
me: *roll eyes* :s

suddenly i feel like my house got a lot of hidden treasures stashed in some corner by my beloved mimi. the kitchen is a miniature version of best d*enki.

the sun is out! I want to go out n play. I need some sun. i want to blade. cycle. watever... i just want to bask in the sun! soooo whiteeeeeeeeee... gone past the stage of fairrrrr.......

sun sets @ 1:57 PM

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

i had 2 dreams... and so as it has to be... 1 is a nitemare. haiz

dream 1
it's a dream... i reflected in the dream... woke up slightly n reflected on the dream. Haha... N so mayb i should start that lil journal notebook once again. just like in my dream... where i could idly walk ard... and just write down thots as they come... just like how it was when i was travelling... where chris noted things n thots on random stuff.. while i got them down in my notebook... Now that there's blogger n my lappy with me almost anytime n everywhere... penning stuff down is just clicks n types away... but i guess sometimes are not meant for others to read... so maybe writing is still a better choice... but yet again... whenever i start attempting the writing a journal thing... i somehow stop half way... or i'll write part of wat i want to write n get too tired n lazy to continue writing.. HOW?

dream 2
it's a silly yet funny but still a nitemare... coz i woke up in shock. Dreamt that i was in the car with the 70 boys. so ironic though... a,b,c, me n i dunno if there's another one. So we were in the carpark of apparently my sch. a carpark which never once existed now existed... so we drove round n round n we keep spotting cool cars... cool cars not as in sports car cool but vintage cars... cars that were super vintage n old... all dolled up nice n pretty n super glam... like nice bikes n cars polished up and sorts.. then we saw old colourful army buses... haah... yeah so round n round the car park we saw loads of them... n then we decided to head for food n on the way to makan... we passed by this estate with a lot of pple outside. some were crying some were acting hysterical. some were violent. well then according to a, apparently someone living in htat estate is a germ* who killed someone n all these r anti-germs n r there kinda protesting... so yar.. n somehow b was driving n he just stopped or inched his way forward. we were all just looking. i was a scary sight. n we finally drove past it... into a stretch slightly ahead when the guys made him drive faster. N somehow b n c started a shouting fight that c should take over the wheel but b refused. And as usual the rash c wanted to get off the car. But A said it was too dangerous n i had to stop him. So i tried to hold him back while he opened the door n next thing i know i saw a light coming my way. AND I WOKE UP.

wellz wellz... wat a dream.....
now i sooo tired... i just want to go back to sleep...

sun sets @ 10:57 AM

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my multiple posts of the day.
not that i'm that free
but i just need someone to rant on.

Anw... weekends here.
Having a loser competition with the gals... okie... maybe they won't want to ren but ah jo. So loser us have to drag ourselves back to sch on sat. N i pray that i'm not loser enough to haf to get back on sun. Haha... Well... at least for now someone has been crowned loser no 1. Haha... Geez...
I'm looking forward to tml... looking forward to meet the gal. Though i'm bobbed down with projects n all... somehow i agreed to meet her for movieee n supper. I guess it's just my lil escape away from this crazy sch life here. and away from everything. though she'll prolly hear me whine my head off... hear my crappy nonsense... hear me whine abt useless boys... but wat's new.... Hehe... our usual crappy n pig out sessions.
Haven been out much lately. not many pple i crave to go out with too... but i guess there r some pple whom i'll alwiz make time for :)

sun sets @ 2:38 AM

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Friday, November 10, 2006

am in a farking farking bad mood. and i mean farking bad mood.
farked up internet connection i haf at home. TMD. keeps conencting discconecting... i can't chat online properly. i can't frigging transfer stuff over. and that's fucking pissing me off... yes prolly the rest of u won't realize... but it just gets on my nerves... and it pisses me off when it transfer and stops halfway or when i transfer stuff over it gets cut. FArk... It's worst now that it's become worst that i'm using my mac. Fark manz. ARGH....
And so the farking internet is to the death of me. My research is taking eternity to load... or can't load... and worst is when i'm logged into the sch's databases. F***. And worst is those with limited access to a few pple kind. TMD.
Okie... all these internet shit is pissing the shit of me... okie.. maybe it's just one of the catalyst. TMD
I can't stand indecisiveness.... more n more cannot take it. Contridictions. N last minute meetings without agendas n proper venues. Fark lah....

sorry for all the vulgarity. N if blogger doesn't post this... i'm really to flip my blardy apple to the wall....

sun sets @ 11:47 PM

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rain rain go away...
i want to snuggle up against someone
I want to sleep
but got no one to snuggle up against
but got so much work to do
so stop raining and let me do work
rain rain go away..

something cute i spotted....
Qn: What's the opposite of 2???
Ans: A lonely me & a lonely you.

So sweet hor... only if there's a you and me to talk about.

Haha... amidst my trying to write about specific n general environment n trying to trim down a report by a three quarters....
thy shall spout shit. Yeah.. more shit from me... i'm so full of shit. Haha....

Girl meets boy
Boy meets girl
Girl likes boy
Boy likes girl
Girl shy
Boy shy

Girl-boy story to be continued...

sun sets @ 5:27 PM

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so hooked onto this song....

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

a so there's a name for such a person...

3 days without work... so 3 days without income... boohooo manz...

sun sets @ 2:27 PM

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

godzillion hours of sleep... slept since wed 3pm till like now... thurs 4pm.. with frequent waking ups to embrace my toilet bowl
food... last meal on tues lunch with strat mates. N nothing thereafter... surviving on glucose for today.
energy level... zilch. badly haf enough energy to move ard... not to mention dragging myself to the doc. was trying to rush my presentation slides yesterday but i kept driftin in n out of sleep. No energy to msn either... so sorry to all who msn=ed me but got no reply...
this should make me lose weight. i really hope so... esp after my colleague commented that i look pregnant... evil person... Grrr... Now i'm attempted to sit up n do some work... see how far i can go...
argh... can god tell me to rest in some other way then this terrible way....
TLC TLC TLC... i need...
soooo numb now...
n mum says to go to the doc again since i'm not getting aany better... OMg...

sun sets @ 4:18 PM

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blehz.
condemned to the bed n the toilet bowl
n i'm full of SHIT, literally.
after 1 whole day n night of visiting the toilet... i'm still at it
:s
dehydrated n weak.
i feel like a baby who can't control my bowel movement
i need some pampers
someone save me...
missing presentation coz of this.
sian.
at least for once i feel loved to be whizzed off to the doc in the middle of the nite

sun sets @ 8:15 AM

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

once again i'm back to wanting to kill someone.... DEADline... not DATEline. blehz... wash my hands off liaoz....

tired, sleepy n feeling weak.... i just want to crash... all thanks to last nite's inability to fall asleep... wish i could MC once again....

but at least today's test is do-able... n i hafquite a nice n funny prof....

XXXX enters class late.
Prof: XXXX loo....
XXXX: yoooo....
Prof: late still dare to yoo....
XXXX: yar... my surname. yeo not loo....
Prof: *bangs head against table* laughs out loud n i mean loud.
class: burst out laughing

sun sets @ 1:20 PM

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i remember the same spot i took the picture.
it is almost close to 2 years
the memories are still vivd
but i know they are just memories
n the good memories will alwiz stay.
things haven changed much at that place
but the situation has changed drastically
i'm glad that the memories have been built
memories can't be erased
but new memories can be built on
and i guess that's why
revisiting places we used to go
doing activities we used to do
is no longer a painful experience
but a happy one
i'm thankful to have beautiful memories to smile upon
曾经拥有 which becomes my memories that are 天长地久
someone once asked me to pick
曾经拥有 or
天长地久
i guess both can exist.
but if i had to pick
天长地久 pls...

sun sets @ 1:58 AM

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Monday, November 06, 2006

i'm am going to kill someone.... seriously am.

F***

Report due in 1 day. I set deadline means DEADline. If the frigging report is not due in 1 days time, i really dun give a damn if u miss the deadline coz i know i won't be working on it either. But hell it's officially monday now (1.34am)... report due tues & the part she's been assigned to do isn't in my mailbox. ARGH. Okie... a part of it is in... with the blardy pretext that she forgot to take the paper where she noted the things that she had to do. N fark i had to offer her paper n ask if she needed to take down the notes of our decision. TMD. And so she conveniently tell me at 11.45pm that she forget her paper n only remember those pts. _)(*&^%$#@! N the other section of the report leh? so big a thing can forget ah? *pissed* N frig not as though i set an impossible deadline for her to meet lorz.... we met on sat morning... so i say give her the whole sunday to do n send me by 8pm. N so it was late. Nvm... LATE n INCOMPLETE. i'm going to curse n swear liaoz.

I grew the blardy report from nothing... i'm so sick of staring at this same report. FARK. Just want to get done with the report n throw it all to them so i can mug. Somehow i pity the other project mate coz i think she'll end up clearing the shit, not as though the excel is not enough of a bitch. But i'm sorry I'm selfish too. Too bad. I think i've more than done my part for this project though i've been a slack at the start of the project. i've even volunteered to do the slides coz i'm fuzzy with ppt slides.

-tired n grumpy gal who wishes she's lying somewhere out there.

sun sets @ 1:39 AM

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Sunday, November 05, 2006

1 report down... at least for the time being... till i touch it again on tues.

reports are darn time consuming. OMG. For the first time i felt so darn efficient. Sat down from 6+ till 10+ to do report. Combine, write, beautify, add this add that... and look @ the excel. Hai but it's still not satisfactory. Goodness me...dunno how many more hours i need to spend on that 20 page report. And it's frigging cheem... Got to spend a lot more time reading up then can continue with it. Blehz....

Now off to start on the other one. Basket... The one which i nearly churned out the whole darn thing. At least i dun haf to look at the excel. Look at that excel will vomit blood n kill pple... Okie... Back to writingggggg...... appendix-ing.....

I just want to sleep lah! Argh... tml still must MUG.

sun sets @ 11:16 PM

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i just wish i could watch sun rise now...
no greek sun nvm. sg sun also can

i cried but i dunno why...
or mayb i do

sun sets @ 4:11 AM

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work for survival?
work with passion?
work to lift the expectation?
which kind of work would u choose?
afterall it's still a very practical world

you are judged by the sch u come from
you are judged by your grades
you are judged by the house u live in
you are judged by the district u live in
you are judged by the possible number of properties you own
you are judged by the car you drive
you are judged by the number of cars you have
you are judged by the number of credit cards
you are judged by the colour of the cards
you are judged by your job
you are judged by wat you wear
you are judged for everything.
all these alwiz come first
haf you been judged by ya character?
haf you been judged by your goals in life?
have you been judged by the achievement of your life goals?
i guess not coz it's the material things and measurable things that pple look for.

sun sets @ 12:45 AM

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Saturday, November 04, 2006

just a very random thot after trying to figure out portfolio...

I wonder how i'll be spending my birthday this year?
it seems just awhile back that i celebrated my 21st. n now it's another year. soon age will be a secret. Wahaha... Just looking back on how i used to spend my actual birthdays... but guess wat... i remember nothing. 1 birthday party when i was a kid. the rest were just normal days i guess. Or prolly just a meal with family. Oh... and 1 spent in canada in the ski resort. whee.. tt's abt it. Let's try 5 years back...
2001... lunch with fam. n i think it was spent with the boy then.
2002... lunch with fam n with boy?
2003... dun remember.
2004... spent depressed. post-seperation (notice not the word breakup. hurh hurh) suppose to go sentosa with the gals but due to bad weather din go. stayed home n be miserable. unexpectedly got asked out by the boy and so the day was redeemed with the most beautiful memories. :)
2005... 21st party. the gals came over n doll me up. went for dinner @ big fish with everyone. makes the sad n lonely soul less depressed. :)
2006... ??? i really dunno... blehz. weekday somemore.
no more parties for sure unless someone so nice to plan for me. or rather it's alwiz been a wish for the other half to plan a surprise party or something to surprise me like all other friends' boys do.

Sleep... tml continue to port... needs a port guru.... OMG.

sun sets @ 4:12 AM

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Friday, November 03, 2006

after a week of suffering from the sniffing nose... and waking up with a damn sore throat made me drag my ass to the doctor. YEAH it's still free... WAHAHAHA... so no work for me again. i think it's the cursed new office that is makin us all sick. N god has it coz the weather is soon to be perfect to sleep. though i think i should get down to rushing all the projects. Blehz.
it's been a long while since i fell sick... n it really sucks when u haf to drag yaself to the doctor. it's like ur head is already groggy n spinning n u haf to walk... ok now i've upgraded to driving myself to the clinic. blehz. sometimes i wish i could be pampered n be brought to the clinic by someone. but i guess it won't really happen. and if there's that one person who offers i won't want to trouble the person which only reminds me of once how a sweet galpal of mine offered to come over n send me to the clinic. i appreciate that gal... Anw i shall go off n koon... dunno wat i'm rattling n mopping abt....
hate the spinning head... running nose n sore throat...
and my doc thinks i should advertise for a new nose...
and frig... who packs antibiotics individually into small foil packs. :s

sun sets @ 3:11 PM

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Hennes & Mauritz (H&M) is debutting in ASIA. Shanghai & HK to be more precise. Hitting the chinese markets. WHY WHY WHY? WHy dun hit the SG market first?!! They rather hit the not-so-happening fashion market of the country we all 崇洋 (all thanks to the strat group mates this word is highly used nowadays... but guess none of u will be at this site so hurh hurh.) than hit the more trendy sg. Haiz...
Oh my my... good old Sweden memories. Miss the snow. Miss the fresh air. Miss the slow pace of life. Miss the vast lands. Miss the greens. Miss the crazy party filled raslatt. Miss Bus 1 to sch. Miss Juneporten. Miss A6. Miss bank streets. Blehz. And i know pple going there next sem. I also want to go. And guess wat... it has started to snow in wat used to be my 2nd home. But the scandic pple r not that excited abt it apparently... coz summer came late n winter came early. I would trade my place here with my buddy ANYTIME which he agreed to... just that we haf yet to figure out how that's going to work.. Hurh hurh... essentially it means NO GO. Booo...
Hmmm... back to H&M... So want H&M stuff still muz fly out to get. *sobz* but at least now can fly to a nearer destination. Hurh hurh... nubbad.. considering got friends from HK & pple going there for exchange & the fam in Shanghai. & plans with my dearest gals brewing & trying to coincide the dates with my colleague & promising to visit pple over there... looks like i'm set to hit HK next year. WAHAHAHA... then shun bian hit the friendly neighbours. OMG. *excited* HOLIDAY! Hope i can squeeze a short nearby trip before that though... Hmmm....(mental note to thyself: SAVE MOOLAH. NO SHOPPING. NO SPLURGING)
Okie... I realise i'm starting to like Strat... just as the sem is coming to a close. I just like the subject. the wholeness of the subject. THE BIG PICTURE. and i has brought to my attention a lot of diff companies. very interesting indeed. Just like how i got to know a lil more abt the fashion industry other than just shopping n helping them up their profit margins. At least i'm starting to make some sense in what i've been trying to study all these 3+ years. But it's a lil too late hor... need to go back n dig some stuff up to once again benefit from this course of study. Well.. maybe they should haf a lower level of strat course in yr 1 sem 1 to let pple like me see the big picture at the start. Well at least i will just get by my sems dreading n wondering why on earth i'm studying some of the stuff. though i must admit a lot of stuff still remains useless coz u won't really use them in the office. Ultimately, SOFTSKILLS r still THE most impt.. at least in my opinion.
And... guess wat... managers think i'm dumb or something lah. 2 had differing opinions on how i should record down the messages from the voicemail (to write or to type straight into excel) and so they spent like 10 mins 'arguing'. Hell manz... i'm no 10 year old kid. Grrrr... N so i got a lil pissed off n i stopped them in a GL way. oppz... haha....
Super long post... it's been awhile.

sun sets @ 2:44 AM

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

in the middle of port class n i'm not paying attention and i have to retype this entry n my dearest friend next to me is laughin... Grrr... Not listening coz wat he's teaching seems familiar yet so vague... can't blame... took the course 1 year ago....

so the conversation of marriage over a short lunch
if u haf a bf... good... can think about marriage.
if u dun haf a bf... good too... why? coz can start looking for one n think abt marriage.
if u dun haf one but haf someone in mind/a psuedo bf/a act like bf person/simply someone in the grey area... half-fucked lorhz. why leh... coz u r neither here nor there... so how? move on or breach the subject or be a kuku n continue being half-fucked. WAHAHAHAHA....

Okie.. enjoy bitching with the gals... whichever group of girls... alwiz end up with funny conversation topics. Lalala...

Back to trying to listen. later got pop quiz. sucks.
Bad week ahead... so u'll see more depression exuberating out of me... wat a choice of words. LALALALA....

sun sets @ 2:32 PM

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:(

sick.

sad.

sun sets @ 1:59 AM

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