life's a one way road

Saturday, December 31, 2005

This is my closing entry for the year of 2005. (shall blog now in case the guys r heading over to my place tonite)
The entry that would see the past year.
The entry that would make a close to the roller-coaster 2005.
The entry that would officially close another chapter in my life.

The past year has seen me in all states of emotions.
A very blissful and happy girl was spotted at the start of the year... A girl who felt love existed once again... a girl who never felt so lucky n blessed with her loved one... a girl who did anything for the guy she loved... a girl who had her patience level upped by many folds... a girl that lil friends saw of her... a girl who felt that he was the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with...
The blissfulness n happiness turned to a feeling that made it hard to pen... blissfulness n happiness remained BUT pain n misery n troubles started to come. Troubles which i endured alone till it no longer could be contained... Decisions had to be made which saw me making it alone. I'm sorry that i made the decision alone instead of doing it together but yet he stood by me all the way... which i'm eternally grateful to you coz i know u din haf to but u did. Everything about us will remain in a beautiful part of my memory which i'll keep for life. I'm just praying that it won't haunt me (us if u should ever know of it) in any future.
The summer approached and the downfall just came in... Went for SAIL which brought me wonderful memories but that was prolly the end of us. It only goes to say that we ain't meant to be... though till today i'm still left baffled at why things din work out.
So the summer saw a self-destrustive me...
a summer where i was getting wasted...
BUT yet it was a summer that saw me getting involved in sch events...
a summer that saw me making many new friends...
a summer that saw the dawn of a beautiful group in SMU... SK 5+1... a blessing in my life
a summer that made me see who my friends were...
a summer that has many beautiful memories installed for me.
It was a hard summer nonetheless... and i'm ever thankful to ALL my friends who stood by me... friends who were alwiz there for me...
friends who listen to me whine...
friends who saw me cry often too much...
friends who listened n kept my secrets...
friends who walked a long way with me... to a me that is more emotionally stable now...
this summer too saw a deep treasure box being dug out n revealled. It's a summer that i can't just put down in words... a summer where i learnt and discovered soo much... discover so much about other pple n self.

Well of coz the term started with me still being messed up... but thank god for everyone ard me, i got by the term w/o any Cs. Haha... As the term drew to a close, the year comes to a close too... and i'm closer to leaving. It's a year of mixed feelings. But i'm still glad for this year... coz i've grown... n grown older too... i can officially watch RA shows... Muahaha...

To sum it all my only conclusion: this hasn't been the best year for me.

BUT i still haf a whole load of pple to extend my thanks out to...
SK 5+1, section 7 facis whom i spent almost my whole summer with, SAIL pple, biz camp org comm & facis & freshies, rit & sze min, suiying, chris, chrissy, paul, ivan, dave, ken, lip, kev, jo, sc, xue, jm, liping, shan and everyone else who've touched my life in one way or another this year. *hugz*

sun sets @ 5:22 PM

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haf u ever felt so tired

so tired that u r literally void of all feelings

the only feeling ya body recognises is fatigue

everything becomes a routine

everything seems so empty.

dun u just wish u could stop running for the moment

drop everything n just lean on that person

or simply just hold on to that person's hand

and walk thru the rest of the journey together.

but u know that's not possible

simply coz that person isnt there.

u know u'll get by everything alone

but yet u still look admiringly at couples

u rummage thru the past memories

and a silent wish is made to God

a wish that there is that person for u right now.

Goodnight.

Sorry to cancel on u tonite... i promise i'll meet u before i leave k. A 3 hour nap din reduce my sleepiness... sighz...

sun sets @ 1:17 AM

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Friday, December 30, 2005

deflating... running out of energy... i feel like an empty shell moving ard... going thru the motion of things... going out n meeting up with pple... running errands and getting things down... barely have time to do the things that i want to do...

Went to sim lim to buy the gadgets that i need... BUT i saw lots of stuff that i wanna get... haha... *sidetracking* out of boredom... Visa/mastercard charges retailers 2.5%, AMEX is 3% i think... that explains why retails dun subscribe to AMEX... n NETS is free... haha... and for those who wanna get harddrive... DUN GET! coz currently demand is more than supply n thus by the rules of economics... prices rise. Haha... I got my 80gb awhile back with the cover n it costed me 250 bucks... now that's the price of the 40gb... so yar...
Hosted the bonduers for x'mas party. Had some fun drinking n laughing... but i wasn't really in the hosting mode so din really host that well... oh wellz... tired... but i enjoy hosting pple over at my place... muahaha...
AND i found a cool chat software for my mac... it can combine all my chat software together lorz... how pow-derful. Haha... Got my skype like FINALLY... add me... littletwinkles as usual... maybe i should get yahoo messenger...
Kanna dragged out of bed this morning to run MORE errands n buy more stuff... haha... gonna be a long day ahead... got to run for a bday party before i get murdered... haha...

sun sets @ 6:36 PM

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Thursday, December 29, 2005

tired & sleepy... clubbing is no longer for me... oh wellz... din really drink much tonite... rather din drink even to get remotely high... or rather a part of my senses seem to keep me alert... wished i had more of a drink n just spend the nite indulging in blasting music n the great company of the facis. This is prolly the second or at max third last time i'll be clubbing before i leave. My last clubbing will be for bondue bash (hopefully my mum will let me go) & dear facis n friends... let's all go, drink n party the nite away k. I swear i'm going to get high next time... somehow i still prefer phuture... at least i dun feel so lost... But seriously... MOS was like a mini-smu lah... frigging hell a lot of sch pple... sheesh... n i realize that are all like yr 1 & 2s... gosh... am i really getting old? haha... Anw love clubbing with the facis... it's alwiz fun... tonite was the butt slapping act... n cy has a nice butt to smack... muahaha... okie... club ethics... wat happen there stays there... Lalala...

Saw someone's good friend there... tt kept my senses heightened for the nite. I duno... a part of me was worried that i'll bump into pple i dun want to see there... life has been going real fine for me now... n i want to keep it that way... at least until i leave... so yar... i was a lil on the alert mode n looking out... but i duno wat i was looking out for... or rather the real purpose in looking out... i still duno if i want or do not want to see the said person. *confused*

On the hind side... i saw the driver of the yellow lambo.. he's a pretty young chap who's not bad looking... Muahaha... I wanna make friends with him so i can at least ride in the lambo at least once in my life manz... like how cool... but i still like a ferrari better... n there were 2 there la... freak... all the ah xia kias were at mos... but the place is hell too big... n messy... i feel so lost there... haha... but one place i like most is the pure room la... it looks darn comfy to sit ard n chill with friends. Muz go there n bum ard n take pix... shall do that on the bash... haha...

This is one thing i MUZ blog abt... I LOVE MY 2 DARLINGS! It was ultra duper sweet of them today... though there were late by almost an hour... BUT WHY? tt's coz they went ard to get me my donald that i was eyeing... the same one that i posted on my msn pix. and now i know.. the shop is called MORE THAN WORDS. Sorry gals to make u treasure hunt round PS for the shop that sold the donald... n in the end having to head to cine to get it coz PS side was sold out. *touched* Love you gals to bits for the birthday present! Donald is going to travel the world with me! :) It was a sweet surprise from them... coz while waiting for them i was walking ard PS & i went into that shop but i couldn't find donald. I was kinda disappointed that it's been sold out... coz i kinda was inclined to buying it then... but lil did i know my dearests went hunting down for it. :)

Anw i've bought my luggage bag liaoz... so i've progressed.. tired... shall blog later when i awake...

sun sets @ 5:34 AM

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

went to watch narnia just now... it isn't too bad... love the whole place where it's just covered with snow.. Muahaha... Soon i'll be able to experience that... soon... very soon... less than 20 days away from me...
anw just realize that i haven't been in any mood to blog... nor haf i any inspiration to write. Thots are plentiful but clouded... so much tt i duno wat's on my mind... it's too clouded to even start writing them down...
posted some pix up... more to come soon... but for now i shall koonz... n ponder n try to gather my thots...

sun sets @ 4:02 AM

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~ SK 5 + 1 Quan Jia Fu~
.our lil x'mas celebration @ my place.
Finally we haf a complete pix of all of us...
they are a blessing to my life. love you all *hugz*

sun sets @ 3:54 AM

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Zl's surprise birthday celebration at Brewerkz. The surprise that was really surprising... Haha...

sun sets @ 3:52 AM

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The faithful nite where lip took the centre stage of acid and "charmed" us with his singing. *applaud his courage* but still i insist that his vocal training isn't of much help... Haha...

sun sets @ 3:47 AM

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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

11th Dec... My key to the world..
21st birthday dinner @ Big Fish
with
my family...
the SKs...
chris & min...
the facis...
bonduers...
OBS mates...
VJ gang...
Kev...
Pek pek...

sun sets @ 5:45 PM

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First thing first...
MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

Hope everyone had a bountiful and love-filled christmas with hoards of presents streaming in.
Perfect weather to be nuahing n resting at home... So i shall blog abt wat has been hapeening for the past few days...
23rd Dec
went gyming in the morning as usual... then went clarke quay to bead shop with my gyming buddy... N i found a shop that sells loads n loads of hair accessories... Haha... finally i'm enjoying beads shopping... So naturally i went crazy in there... Haha... Went down to tampines mall to shop... Then went to watch jazzy christmas with kev @ Esplanade... jazz rocks manz... really puts me in the mood of christmas and makes me wanna learn the piano all over again... and after that all.. we went to max brenners for some really fattening chocolate la... sheesh... then headed down to acid for drinks... n then prata for supper... It's like how fattening la... sighz...

24th Dec
X'mas eve... I essentailly rotted the day at home. Din feel like doing anything nor plan for anything. So my mum thinks i'm how unhappening to be at home on x'mas eve so she dragged me out... And guess wat... i ended up at some auntie-uncle pub... sheesh... but the only consolation is that i managed to do a bit of shopping before that... n got myself a nice black trench from mango... okie... think i've got enough of trench-like winter wear... time to get a nice white short overcoat. So essentially i was rotting at the auntie-uncle pub after that... being the ahmad of the nite... Rather amused by the way uncles were chasing this relatively younger bartender round the pub spraying snow spray at each other... n the best part was when i saw this hoard of philippino females running away... Yeah... apparently there was some kind of raid and all these females were running to hide... duno wat they were up to in those pub... *hmm...* Anw seems like the mobile networks haf expanded their bandwidth.. Din experience any jam in sending x'mas greetings... (i'm so proud of myself... i resisted sms-ing someone,.. haha) N i could even haf a sms conversation all nite thru lorz... haha... or maybe as jia said... got new means of sending msg: telepathy... haha... (i seriously hope not.. dun wanna telepathy with some pple la... how scary) Anw met my friend for supper n chatted till i was so sleepy... Late nites are not for me anymore... getting old manz...

25th Dec...
Christmas! It's the season of giving and forgiving... went to church in the morning... and did some real last minute shopping... haha... N i bought the shoe that i've been eyeing.. muahaha... went grocerry shopping for the upcoming parties... then headed over to aunt's house for dinner. Dinner was truely international. Muahaha... First we had literally international x'mas dinner... duck flown back from france... beef from australia... sauces from i can't remember which country... essentially all food was international flown in.. Second.. the crowd was international. Haha... My cousin's (girl)friend from Auzzie land was with us... then their cousin from Canada was ard too... It was amusing to watch the congregation of family... the oldies were in the hall... with the guys in one part n the ladies sitting ard in the other part of the hall... n the youngies were outside in the garden... talking crap n eventually we decided to haf beer n play bridge. Muahaha... Headed down to cy's place to play mj. Muahaha... And the day ended young... real early in the morning.. haha...

26th Dec...
Lazy me couldn't get up and din join them at Sentosa... blehz... wish i went la... I badly need a tan... and i miss hanging out with them... how we used to hang out so much during the summer... Anw to the most crappy bunch of pple ard... U guys rock! And the lazy poke din go n do more last minute shopping... which means i'll owe some presents to my dearest gals. Haha.. Oppz...
Dragged myself out of bed to wrap their presents... N i had fun wrapping jia's present (thanks to esther's idea) Hee... *evil grin* Lala... I love the look when the gal had to open my present to her... Lala... (gal.. u owe us a banana dance) Heez... And so we exchanged prezzies.
THANKS GALS FOR ALL THE PRESENTS...
Jia for the powerful mascara & yummy chocs...
Jo for a new pair of earrings...
Esther for the pretty clip... can't bear to use it lorz...
Su for her beautifully handicrafted pouch..
Wl for the cookies which i haf yet to sample...
and we started feasting on ALL the different chocs tt our dearest jia gave us... FANTABULOUS lorz... i must visit candy empire... and so much for our weekly routine gyming... time to double that... haha... and we headed to make beads! I MADE MY FIRST EARRINGS... thanks to jo for her teaching... jia n esther n jo for their equipments n materials... Conclusion: shar really can't handle all these small stuff... all the connectors kept jumping away from me... *sobs*And we mj-ed... Haha.. *3 cheers to jia* she won a game with zi-mo... And as usual.. i lost money... i seriously can't play mj @ home la...
Lip n clar came over later in the nite n we continued with 3-leg MJ. 3-leg MJ is really fast... n u win n lose big la... haha... and their speed is how fast... play until i lost... haha... the only thing i know is that i was the gardener of the nite... n tt's how i earn all the small lil money... Haha... pathetic la...
Losses for the nite: $3 with the gals... $8 with the guys... Haiz...

27th Dec...
The lazy pig slept all the way till 2pm. Muahaha... So essentially i din go lunch n shop with my other 2 darlings... anw some miscommunication too.. Haha... so it's bumming @ home for the rest of the day... Shall do something constructive... TRY to... haha...

That pretty sums up the past few days of x'mas.
Next up... 1 more party to host
time to pack & buy all the stuff i need...
meet up with the those whom i haven't met up with...
finish up jo's present...
do lil surprises for all my darlings (i haf ideas in mind... but whether it translates into actions... haha)...
spend time with family
do up my jigsaws....
watch sunrise...something i'll miss...

feel like going ikea... go swim n play with whales... MJ till dawn then go watch sunrise... Anw games for these?

sun sets @ 4:41 PM

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Saturday, December 24, 2005

Been having sleepless nights of late... nites where i just lay in bed... an empty mind but i can't seem to shut my whole system down to sleep... some nites where i just think... some nites where i just play the list of memorable songs on my itunes... nites where i run thru the photos in my iphoto... run n rerun the slideshow tt i've made... some nites where memories just flash thru my memory like i'm watching a movie... some nites where i just lay there n think n wonder... just sleepless nitez... i'm so tired... it's draining me off my energy n making me feel very depressive...
I know... feelings have all become meaningless... but feelings dun just disappear over nite... i-miss-yous n i-love-yous haf become ptless coz they are nothing but words tt hold no value n importance... even as friend i'm of no value n importance... coz simple things r not being remembered or bothered... wat happen to the promise made back then... a promise of eternity... a promise to shelter me from the obstacles tt come along... it's all gone... overnight... promises r made to be fulfilled n not broken... some things r unknowing commitments tt haf been made.. committments to each other... committments to try n not expect... Somehow i feel that feelings have become meaningless... dates have become insignificant... memories n trials haf become nothing but thin air...
BUT nonetheless, i still haf my friends... my friends whom i'm ever grateful for. Esp my new-found gang... it's friends tt haf kept my sanity n everything intact n in check. I duno how to thank u all for all these support... maybe u dun see it as support but i see it tt way...
on the hindsight... jazzy christmas was GOOD... Fantabulous... N next yr we'll go again... haha... N max brenners was lagi shiok... it's high inducing.... n nothing beats live music n some beer (though the duet tonite kinda suck) N supper... Muahaha... broke all my diet shit today... haha... N i think he's good looking... n the most eligible bachelor ard... haha...
Tired... blog later in the day... nitez... hopefully i can slp

sun sets @ 3:37 AM

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Friday, December 23, 2005

Went shopping with susu n jo... So fun la... Had a great time! And i ended up shopping when i had no intention to buy anything... thank god for the 2 gals... or not i think i'll be a broke gal again... Haha... And today's shopping made us skip quite a few meals... without feeling hungry... not bad... good diet... haha... plus exercise
And i went MOS... Muahaha... N saw the same few door bitches... Oh wellz... MOS is quite a nice place... but it's a bit big... makes me feel so lost... But the bedroom place is the nicest la... it's all white... and got nice sofas... haha... WHITE... okie... i love anything white... muahaha... i bet a lot of pple will second tt... but somehow i feel that MOS isn't a good place for a bash... haha...
I'm officially left with less than 3 weeks in this sunny island. I'm feeling the blues... so many things to do... but yet i dun feel like doing...
a part of me wants to leave...but another part doesn't want to leave... i dunno which part is stronger now...
a part of me wants to just disappear but another part doesn't want tt to happen... coz i know misery will only result...
i can't make up my mind... but i know i'll go...
i duno if i really want my friends to send me off... i know i'll breakdown... but i know i'll be happiest to see all my loved ones-family n friends before i leave... but i know... i won't be able to see everyone tt i wanna see... *confused n feeling the blues* :(
Anw dun like the msn world... dun like wat i see... so i might just be disappearing from there... but there are yet some of my dearest tt i wanna talk to... oh wellz...
-one confused gal

sun sets @ 1:56 AM

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

Oh yar... I was suppose to remember to blog abt this...
Many nites back at acid where i was malu-ated... dear lip was made to play the guitar... n daryl was supposed to sing... which sadly he din... n as a result... our ears got murdered...
WHY?!?!?
*drumroll*
Coz lip decided to sing n play the guitar... which is obviously WRONG... n i mean WRONG... playing the guitar is perfectly fine...
but the singing part is... Errrr... The vocal training classes ain't working manz... haha...

sun sets @ 12:54 PM

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Suay suay suay...

Got woken up by jia's sms... only to discover it was already noon. Ahahaha... So naturally i'm going to be LATE... according to my mum it's wat's new... So i flew to the shower... changed up and all in record time... n just i was abt to step out of the house... it POURED... argh... WTH... One kind... So now i'm back to being stuck at home... coz the rain is far too heavy for me to step out... it'll be like another shower for me la... Argh...

Snooze alarms dun work for me too... Muahaha... i snoozed all the way from 8 to alarm-less... Haha... wanted to go gym this morning... but i managed to convince myself tt i'm TOO tired to get out of bed. Muahaha.. N slp is much needed in case i MOS today. Haha...

Was a good gal yesterday... Din go MOS in the end... Though the attraction to go were like how great... esp the pple gg lah... Muahaha... N resisted YL's persuasion to zouk... not intending to drink with that crazy bunch loz..

Had a great dinner with the facis... Love you guys! N i just realized i can't sentosa... coz i've got a x'mas party at my place...Blehz...

Met LM to check out europe stuff... n i met gene who says i'm FAT... sob sob... Time to diet...

Thanks to my mum who just reminded me that it's going to rain today... coz today's some tang yuan day n if it rains today... it's not gg to rain on CNY... Grrr... not like i'm here for CNY. :(

sun sets @ 12:41 PM

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

went for meeting today... n realize that the hols are coming to a close real soon... n i din even realize that x'mas is just round the corner... literally round the corner. Sheesh... Time really just pass u by... one minute it's the start of the hols n the next thing u know.. the hols is well and over... n u realized u haven't achieved or done anything during this hols... Oh wellz... one thing i know is that i worked for a week... worked a lil of my spending... gives me the right to spend... muahaha... met up with friends... drink n make merry. This is life... Muahaha... wish money is never ending for me to spend this kind of life...
Something interesting... we were just talking abt vanquish n sl 55 last nite when daryl wanted to change his car n i saw some interesting nick today... wat a coincidence... but watever... doesn't concern tt portion of my world... too atas for me... or until i find a rich guy...
Made another hole in my pocket today at brewerkz. Celebrated zhenliang's bday there... n the birthday boy din even realize the surprise dinner celebration... n so he was super duper ultra late... muahaha... drinks n more drinks... n i finally got to drink from the litre tower... Muahahah... cheap thrill la... But watever it is... the nite was good... n once again we were at the topic of marriage n who would get married first. Muahaha... Oh wellz... everyone seems to be happily attached now... at least the gals are... and attached to really decent guys la... hope they'll all get married soon... Haha...
Oh wellz... brings me back to thinking... wat's really up with my life manz...
1) attract the wrong kind of guys...
2) attached to the wrong kind of guys...
3) now... happily all alone... not tt it's wrong but somehow it just feels empty.
Then u just start to question... where are all the good guys? How come i see everyone ard me getting attached to the right guys... those really sweet romantic guys... and some r rich... but where's mine? Conclusion after talking to one of my SKs... i'm just suayz with guys... no guys-luck.
Enjoy of this... i feel so intoxicated from nites after nites of alcohol. N my antibiotics cycle is majorly screwed... nvm... shall redemn myself tml...

sun sets @ 3:14 AM

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I can seriously forget my diet plan... BOOHOOHOO... as long as my dear kev n lip r ard... suppers are unresistable... blehz... But wat the heck... i won't get to eat all these great yummilicious hawker food for the next half a yr... so i better eat my fill now... tml.. gym shall be it...
Went shopping today... had dinner with weng, hy n lip at this vegeterian place... Lingzhi... N i'm quite amused by the way they served the soup... But wat's more amazing is how pricey a herbivorious meal can cost.... 3 bowls of soup, 3 dishes and the bill came up to 85 bucks. Daylight robbery la... Went indochine for a drink... but migrated to acid. But it was a BRILLANT migration. The hottie plays there on Mondays!!!! I'm sooo going there on MONDAY... He's like how hot n sexy la... N i got to talk to him... muahaha... Thanks to my dear friends... First i kanna dragged down to dance on the "supposedly" dance floor... then daryl called him over to our table n told him that i think he's hot n tried to get his number. How embarrassing la... But still he's HOT... SEXY... and he's one of those who still looks darn clean with a moustache and goatie la... OKIEz... maybe it'll be cool to get his no... but he's attached la... ANW he played my verbal dedication for "champagne supernova". Shiok la... a song full of memories... but i lurve (say it with the slang) it... MAybe the next step is to make friends with him... after the rowdy bunch of us tonite... topic of the nite... wat car should d change to... SL 55 AMG man...Fair lady isn't as chio la... Anw Monday next week AGAIN.. haha... Went newton for fattening supper la... Diawz... haiz...
Tml nite is more drinking @ Brewerks... Wed is MOS with the med gang... duno to go or not... if kev goes i guess i'll go... haha...
All these late nite suppers n alcohol is making me FAT... no matter how much gym i do it's not going to work la... sighz...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Just for the 2 bday boys tt i know... one i'm celebrating with u n gang tml... the other... errr.. when u r free bah then tell me... Haha...

sun sets @ 3:33 AM

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sighz... the flu bug attacked me once again. To hell with the flu jab manz... Took it sometime during the study break... but guess wat... i'm still falling sick. Yar... it's prolly just one of those cold which the flu jab has no effects over. But if it is... why am i on antibiotics??? Darn it... it's making me feel hell of grouchy & unloved.
I NEED A BF!!!
I can't do anything but lie in bed... sitting on the couch and watching tv makes my head seem so darn heavy... reading makes me fall aslp... and so i can only SLEEP. Sighz... I wanna go out... i wanna go walas for some good music n chill out... but the cough n the noise is stopping me... n my pretty empty wallet is stopping me too... So BROKE. But yet there are sooo many things i need to get... X'mas presents, birthday presents, winter stuff... Haiz...

And i'm starting to feel a lil jittering... So many things to prepare for...
1) Get my air tix... No i haven't paid for them...
2) Get my residence permit... Applied but it's still pending...
3) Issurance... think my mum got that settled
4) Sch stuff... think to log on and check
5) Accomodation... Applied but still unknown where i'm staying. Shall log in to the system
6) Money supply... Err... I shall find out the ways of getting $$$ over in the cheapest way
7) Luggage... OMG... *scratch head* dunno where to start. Shall come out with a packing list. Only consolation... i've gotten some toiletries liaoz & med... shall buy all my stuff here so i won't haf to go there n spend MY money on getting :P
8) Visit dentist... optician....
9) ... i can't think anything else at the moment... BUT i'm sure the list doesn't stop at 8... ARGH... HELP!

Sighz... I'm still thinking if u should know... i'm torn btw wanting u to know n not know... URGH... damn it... Just msn/sms me or watever la... so i can decide on my course of action. (current state of mind: since u dun care... u dun haf to know n i really want to tell u but there's no pt)

Shall get back to sorting my itunes. I managed to merge ALL the songs together... from lappy & the ipod. Now got to get rid of duplicates. I had 5736 songs to start with... Now i'm with 5165 items... n i'm only at artist name 'I'.

sun sets @ 10:14 PM

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

okie...the lazy poke gal has finally uploaded the photos to photobucket...

http://photobucket.com/albums/d186/littletwinkles/

Haven't uploaded all the photos taken yet... more photoes to come... and pix of my presents will be in the same soon... for now i shall attempt to unmess my ipod... haha...

yes after today's mj session i figure i really need to do something to my ipod... just like my lappy... all the songs are in a mess... really is one whole list of songs... :P Played mj with jia, jo n may at may's place... and for the 2nd time i won money... after the many many rounds of mj playing.. this is the 2nd time i won... paiseh win all ya money :P we had a ipod maranthon... one ipod after another... this makes me feel like i really need to do up some songlist.. haha... Super long mj session... 2 rounds and we played from 1 to 10... Muahaha...

had nice yummy supper at river valley... i really need the gym soon... darn it... all my gyming is to go to working out all the extra calories i'm gaining from all these suppering... the pervious accumulated fats would haf to wait... muahahah

nose still blocked... sucks....

sun sets @ 11:43 PM

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Friday, December 16, 2005

my healthy gyming lifestyle flows thru this week... went to the gym again today... lalal... 20 mins on the threadmill is no longer a feat.. lala... time to up that... was suppose to go blade... but my lazy bug got the better of me... haiz... think i'm coming under the flu bug... sighz... nvm... i squeezed myself some kalamasi... some real potent shit... potent dose of vit c... i'm well taught by the ex on how potent a shot of kalamasi knead is... muahaha... okie... hope that does some miracle... but watever it is... MOS i'm coming... licence to party again tonite... since my mum is going clubbing too la... muahaha... but then again... i dun need licence.... haha... but damn it... i just learnt that half of the place is not open to me la... fucking age limit... Muahaha... but who cares... i shall check out the place nonetheless... somemore got invites... no need to queue n pay... wat more can i ask for... best got some nice pple get drinks for moi... lalala... alcohol is damn good at keeping the sore throat at the bay... tested n tried... Muahaha...

Anw... club ethics lip!!! wat happens in the club stays there la... how come i see my name on ya blog huh? Thank goodness nothing scandalous... lala... tt reminds i've some new found club photos in my fone *winkz* lala... annoynimity of who the person who has been captured shall remind... lalal....

I'm amused... ritchie got jabbed in his ass... haha... okie... shall not be mean... karma gal karma... haha... reminds me of how when i was young... i had a damn big tablet stuffed up my ass la... coz i ran 2 weeks of high fever... yes i'm amazed my brains din get burnt then... or maybe it's burnt... tt's why i'm so kuku... haha...

my nose is flowing... sighz... shall postpone the uploading of my photos... sleep first...

sun sets @ 4:01 PM

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it's a day of coincidence... first in the gym today... the gym was filled with all the zoukers last nite... n just now at bedok 85... bumped into some more of the zoukers... Muahhaa...And there goes my exercise plan... thanks to oily supper... sheesh... thanks ah fling... Muahaha...

Anw just a thot... time doesn't heal all wounds... time just dilute all the pain, the feelings and all the love that u haf... time is just like the wind that blows all the dust that would cover everything... wounds would never totally heal... even if they do... there are alwiz scars ard that would remind u of the pain that the wound once brought.

27 more days...

sun sets @ 2:10 AM

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

I've been a good gal... Haha... discipllined... Went to the gym again today... Muahaha... And lucky me seemed to haf a "personal trainer". He thot me different excises to tone my arms.. Muahaha... I shall be guai n do all of it... But my only conclusion... I look like a duck trying to flap her flabby arms while doing weights... Muahaha... So many pple were gyming to day la... Tml it's another gyming day again... gyming with the gals... Haha... our new healthy lifestyle...

Okie.. maybe not that healthy.. Went to club on yesterday nite.. Phuture rocks manz! The music is fantabulous... Haha... wellz... drank a lot too... sheesh... n i amazed at the no of bottles of martels that were opened last nite... First it was 5 bottles.. n next thing i know... they opened another 2 bottles... *speechless* And they were drinking like no one's biz la... EVERYONE in that corner was like how high la... N innocent me went over to pass lip my phone... n i kanna dragged to drink... thanks to 2 kuku guys... one called shaun... the other call tim... make me drink n drink n drink... n those two kept introducing themselves over n over again... Highly amusing la... Then continued drinking with ken n the smu peeps... kamakaze... Muahaha... the faithful drink... tried b52... but somehow i dun really remember it's taste... other than being SWEET. Muahaha... and stoopid lip... i can't break ya friend's heart if i never had it ah... Muahaha... Bet he was too drunk to remember anything... HAHA... Clubbing on friday AGAIN... Sighz... but this time it'll be fun! Can check out new place... so exciting lorz... foresee more drinks... my liver is sooo going to DIE

Need to get a job!!!! I need MOOLAH... so i can load on my apple stuff... Apple stuff is soooo ex... bought the impt protectors for my powerbook n ipod... $100+ lorz... sighz... back to being a nuah kia n stone in front of the tv... Lalala...

sun sets @ 8:29 PM

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Never be Replaced

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time

From the day I met you
I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all

I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

sun sets @ 1:39 PM

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Romance and marriage are two different things. Something interesting while the bummer me watch tv... Oh shit... tv is making me go crazy... "Focus on the one you love" more from the tv... Haha... Yes u can focus on the one u love... but wat's the use if the one u love doesn't love you? haha...
I'm still meddling with my 2 new toys... and i'm going nowhere... I NEED AN EXPERT... haha... forgot wat i wanted to blog abt... Oh wellz...
Some pple know me just so well... Until they know wat i wished for my birthday... sighz... Haha...Sometimes i ask myself..."what do i mean to you?"

sun sets @ 7:27 PM

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Bum bum bum... That's wat i've been doing... Time to find a job... I need to get a paid job lorz.... haha... but somehow non-paid jobs seem to be coming my way.

Went out with lip last nite... went for nice n yummy tom yam steamboat at parkway... *shioks* it's been a long time since i've eaten there lorz... Now my steamboat kaki is back. haha... after that went to balacava for drinks... Haha... and my lip seems like a pro with wine now... Muahaha... And i so muz go Chicago!!!! Argh... So he asked if he's changed... Hmmm... Will give u the ans before u go back yar... haha...

Another day spent bumming at home... my cousin was suppose to come but she din. Anw... i'm playing ard with my 2 new toys... mac n ipod. I feel so handicapped la... sighz... now got to figure how to transfer things over. Haha...

I've uploaded pix onto my comp! Will upload to maybe photobucker soon.. haha...
& i exercised yesterday!

-lots of thots on board my brain-

sun sets @ 4:01 PM

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Monday, December 12, 2005

Shall post the happenings of 11th Decemeber 2005 so that one day, i can come back here to relive the memories though i think everything will be up in my head.

Pre-birthday...
Received a card in my mailbox n i wondered real hard who sent it. The envelope was cute. Upon opening it, i realised it was a pretty Birthday card from shichi. It was really a surprise! :) Thanks dear. Hope u having a blasting time over at UK.

Bummed into Jessica on duno when n i cant remember where...(this is really signz of getting old) and so it was pre-birthday wishes. Thanks babe!

And all the pre-birthday well wishes... Jas, Rit, Peishi, Darren Thanks :)

On the night of 10th December, i was busy chatting online and checking out my new powerbook n lamenting about some stuff and how i was at home on the eve of my birthday but yet was too lazy to find pple to go out with. Then my phone rang and i was asked which condo i stayed in. Next minute before i knew it... tim said he was at my place. *surprise* thanks for the sweet gesture. :) So i spent the opening minutes of my birthday with him...

And when i got back to my lappy... there were many many msn wishes. :) Thanks all for remembering.... Jia, Jo, chris, sze min, suiying, mingwei n many more. And sms from eileen, gene & lip came in. thanks for the overseas smses. AND CRYSTAL! We share the same birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAL... hope u had an equally good time :)

Then my dear paul called me to go for supper. So I met him n ended up having drinks @ gardens. And we discovered the new Liquid Kitchen. I love the seats there... though the drinks suck. Muahaha... TT's how long i haven't been there. Thanks for the brithday song. *paiseh la* Yess my dear friend whom i've known since primary school sang me a birthday song and i shamelessly blew off the candle of the tea light. Muahaha... Had a great nite talking to u. :)

And more msn messages came in while i was out. Thanks weilin. (oh no.. my memory is failing)

That ended the nite... and so i slept n bummed around n chatted online... And waited for the moment when the gals would come over! Went to pick the gals up and we had a blasting time at my place. ALL of us were fiddling with dresses n makeup... so fun... But nothing beats having guru jo ard. Haha... And slowly, sze min, chris, paul, eileen n edwin streamed into my place. Feels like a mini-gathering at my house lorz... So fun... Then we headed down to the restaurant. Slowly by slowly everyone came... N I was really glad that everyone had their own grps... so no one was left out. Hope u guys enjoyed the food... And guess wat... we all finished 12 bottles of wine! Muahaha... And my mum thinks we're power... esp since sooo many of u guys drove. haha... Fleeted between the different groups.. Sorry if i wasn't a good host to all... and i din pop by ya tables enough... Blehz.. And gals... i want to gossip.. u all gossip without me :( Haha... and kev n pek... i dun like angmohs... so the supposed "karmasutra" u bought for me won't come to use... But now that i know wat "karmasutra" it is... it's gonna be really useful lorz... And it's so sweet of u to get me the book :) (even my friends think it's so sweet of u guys... + brownie pts for u) Haha.. and recalling another conversation... GENE... i changed my blogskin... The font is bigger so u cannot complain the font is tooo small... Haha... Thanks deb for the call too!

So the nite ended back at my place with jo, esther (who is still slping as i'm blogging... haha... tt lazy poke). su n bobby... Opened up all the presents... soft toy fight with jo... and MAHJONG... BUT i lost... sob sob... Jo's the biggest winner of the nite la... Su n me are the money donors... We pay sch fees one... Muahaha... MJ will the gals are fun. We muz MJ again! And our claims to stay slim is going down the drain la... U should see wat we were eating... royce choc (thanks to wanshi :) ), crackers, choc ben&jerry's choc & cookies... Mauhaha... GALS... MJ again k... Next time the whole SK5+1 muz be down! we open 2 table... or 1 MJ the other bridge. haha...

Thanks lip for the call... Make me gian to fly over to ya place for my ipod... Heehee... I need my ipod to transfer stuff from my darling fujitsu to my baby powerbook... haha...

And so it all ended with lots of beautiful memories that there are so many to blog abt...

Shall post pix when i upload them... :)

One last thanks to all those who came...
SK 5+1 (short of wl but with addition of bobby.): Jia, Jo, Esther, Su,
Eileen & Edwin
Paul (hope u enjoyed ya camp)
Chris
Sze Min
Section 7 facis: Eileen, Stella, Corrina, Jingen, Gina
OBS grp mates: char, lyn, mare, yiqing
Bonduers: Cowan, Kevin, Wanshi
VJians; Ken, Justin, Zhe Houng
Kevin
Pek pek

Other thanks to... Leon, Jem, Steph, Wendy, Jo, Liping, Jiamei, (will update more when the names come to my mind)

And for those who sms-ed me after the nite ended.. Paiseh.. my fone inbox was full n i din get all ya sms-es till this morning.

*shouts out* AHAO where haf u been?

Disclaimer:
All names mentioned are for the sake of my memory n for all overseas n those who couldn't come know wat happened. So DO NOT start any scandals for me. If you do, i can't stop u but i'll just be SPEECHLESS.
If i miss out anyone, it's not that u r insignificant... my memory is getting really bad. But watever u all did brought me lots of smiles.

sun sets @ 10:39 AM

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It's been a great 21st birthday. :) Thanks a million and godzillian to everyone... all my wonderful and beautiful friends who made the day so beautiful.
-Thank you column-
Thanks for all the well-wishes via msn, phone calls n sms & most importantly in person.
Thanks to all those who came down for the dinner. Hope u enjoyed yaself. And everyone looked so PWETTY. Too bad for the guys who couldn't make it down. Muahaha...
Thanks for all the nice presents :) Esp the gals who got something extra to surprise me. Thanks dears.
Thanks ah jo for being my photographer for the nite... n my make-up artist... n my dress arranger! (My nanny for the nite...*woof*)
Thanks for the wonderful memories.
Thanks to my family for coming down... for the presents n for wishing me from overseas :)
Thanks to my mummy who sponsored everything. Heez...
-End of thank you column-

Hope i din miss out anyone... Pix to come up soon! :)

sun sets @ 10:26 AM

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Sunday, December 11, 2005

Yoohoo... I'm blogging from my powerbook! So fun! But guess wat... some of the toolbars are not loading... sighz... I can't change my font and font colour here... Neither can i upload pix... hmm... i think it's just me still learning how to use this new toy of mine. It's like after sooo darn long i finally manage connect this new gadget to my internet at home... Finally figured how to add my comp into my list of authorised users. Haha... Still getting used to this new keyboard. Keep missing the keys... Time to transfer all my songs over here n choke up this system. Muahaha... For now i shall get down to cleaning up my room. Any mac users ard... i'll need lots of help.

sun sets @ 10:56 AM

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Saturday, December 10, 2005

That was the apple post... now to my day's post. Went shopping with jm. Haha... shopping is good... But i'm dead broke now... got 2 new tops... dress (duno why i bought it since i dun usually get to wear them)... sandals... my mac(comp) n the other mac (concealler n my liquid foundation) & the all powerful shu uemura cringer. Muahah... Almost bought the limited addition issey miyake perfume la... The bottle is how pretty... plus my classic issey is finishing... Issey rocks! But in the end i din get it... Hmm... maybe i should ask the BSM pple to get it from the airport for me... duty free lorz... haha... Dun dare count how much i spent. Definitely more than 3.1K lorz... Haha... OMG...
Jm was so furni... Anw... our conclusion for the day is that... guys are all cmi...lazy... and duno how to surprise their gals... Sighz... Tt's how sucky la... (sorry la gal... i got surprised once... i'm sure ya turn will come soon n it'll be one where u'll alwiz be surprised by whoever tt comes along (: )and wat's so amazing that i haf no guy after me & i'm SINGLE (add in... for so long) huh?!?! And NO i'm not waiting for him. Anw, funny thing is lip came into the pix... dun ask me why... Haha... she said maybe he'll surprise me by being back tonite... haha... tt's really furni la... To lip: ego booster for u (though i'm so reluctant to say this) u beat all my other guys hands down... wat haf u done to my friends?!?! Sheesh...
2 more hours to my 21st. Sighz... getting old... Blehz... and i'm at home... sighz... Shall count my well-wishes... started counting liaoz though... Will u remember? i doubt so in every case... there r no letters for me :( They probably would never come anymore...

sun sets @ 9:33 PM

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*screams out loud*
I BOUGHT MY POWERBOOK!
haha... had no intention of buying it today... but somehow i just got it... haha... was waiting for jm who was late as usual... went over to wheellock... then i saw santa giving out apple's brouchure... then i realized it was apple's official opening for their wheellock stall. So i just walked in to kaypoh la... Then i asked the same sales guy who served me the last time... N i found out that powerbookwas on some kind of promotion. Such that the promotion is more worth it than the student package. Muahah... After much deliberation n running to the ATM to check on my bank account... I GOT MY 12.1 inch POWERBOOK with an upgrade to a 1gb ram & MS office suite. And they gave me a $102 voucher. So weird. duno why 102... muz be after much of their precise calculation... 102 is the magical no that would make customers buy 1 more item to fully max the value of the voucher. Anw... so all in all i paid $2.9K for the powerbook. And guess wat... it's CHEAPER than my fujitsu S6120. Sheesh... I paid hell a lot for my darling fujitsu la... and i only upgraded to 512MB ram la... Haiz...
So now muz learn how to use this new baby of mine. Haha... And in less than 48 hours... my ipod video is touchin down to singapore. Muahaha...

sun sets @ 9:24 PM

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Oh... i'm highly amused by some himbo n bimbo stories of my friends. Damn furni la...

Before i forget... i'm amused when xsb thinks that chris n me are together. OMG... like errr... haha... Chris got cute n pretty gf la... muahaha...
just like my other scandal... sheesh... amused.

sun sets @ 1:08 AM

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My wonderful job has ended! Thank goodness... Another week there i think u can go IHM and find me liaoz. But it was great working with jia n eileen. Had lots of fun... and all our lil ki xiao moments & bitching session & our daily dose of yakult n dark choc... muahaha... like how jia n me wld say we r gg on a diet n next minute u see both of us eating choc... eat choc diet... how dear eileen can slp on the chair... n how we're the broken record player... our lil rescue mission when we head to the toilet... n our lil antics. Muahaha... So fun... despite the utter boredom n low job satisfaction. Went shopping with jia n jo. Heez... Diamonds n white gold are pwetty... Saw a few nice rings... *Drools*

Time to find another job to fill up my bank account. Muahaha... Still got X'mas presents to get... n some bday presents to get... n 1 rather ex present to get... n accessorize my ipod video tt's coming in awhile... Heez... And working means i'll earn money... n i can only get to spend them after work... So no chance to spend them in the day. Muahaha...

Change is the only constant. No one remains the same forever. Everyone change... whether it's for the better or the worst. Some changes are transient... circumstantial... some changes are permanent... changes that would leave marks in ya lives. The most scary change i would say is the change in character... especially for the worst. Coz u never know whether the change is for real... or is the change circumstantial n deep inside lies a person's true character. It's wierd to see someone whom u think u used to know or someone whom u used to be close to metamorphorsis to almost like a stranger... someone u barely know or can talk to. It's a strange feeling... n sometimes it perturbs me.

Birthday's approaching. First time i'm actually throwing a party. So exciting. Hope it'll turn out fine... at least i made sure everyone on my invite list has someone else to keep them company. Skirts and dresses for gals... it'll b so pwetty... Haha... though i'm short of the colour theme... but who cares... i just want my friends to haf fun... fun fun... grinz... Hmm... tml going shopping... shiok... but i wonder wat i'm going to do at nite... last yr... celebrated the first moments of my bday with lip n ken. This yr... haiz... planless as for now... blehz....

sun sets @ 12:13 AM

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Friday, December 09, 2005

Muahaha... Shiok... Last day lorz! Money money money...
But 职业病 is setting in... Everytime the phone rings... the first reaction is to turn and look at the phone. Muahaha...
Uneventful calling today... but who cares... it's the last day i'll be calling the same few nos... muahaha... revived my other blogs....

Thot for the day: "somethings are really meant to be buried. Digging them up brings no good. "

sun sets @ 11:50 AM

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the day just zoomed by us.. just like the past few days... with me feeling damn drained after office hours... but the thing is i dun really do much substantial work.. But watever... the most impt thing is the money comes in.. later's the last day to hear my money ka-ching-ing into my account. Muahaha... Working makes me feel lethargic... such that i just crave to go home after work... or not just lay in my love one's arms n just relax. too bad there's no such luxury for the latter.

Went DXO for the seventeen pagent thingy. It was outright BORING... i think everyone could literally read of the word ;BOREDOM' from my face. Wellz.. thank goodness it ended... had a jug of vodka lime n some increasingly great music. Danced the nite off... Darn shiok. Great music makes me high la... And like all the SMU pple were dancing in a CIRCLE. really well-trained to examplify the c.i.r.c.l.e value everywhere we go... Muahaha... while i enjoyed myself, my dear friend who went with me din enjoy himself. He's suayz once again. But oh wellz... suayness will make u numb yar! Nvm... Next wed club n dance the nite away! EVERYONE'S INVITED to join my clubbing crew! Heez...

AND SMU should stop giving out free tees. Sheesh... piangz... pengz... I nearly fainted when i saw wat some pple were wearing.... Yes... And XSB was CLUBBING! *shocked* and XSB was spotted dancing on the dance floor *shocked n faintz* oh sheesh....

Headed down to acid for drinks with kev, hy n zl. More good music n beer. Haha... It's ironic how the conversation with this bunch of pple r alwiz different. N interesting... and thot stimulating... i just coz we all come from different fields. unlike all those from SMU... we talk the same frequency. The conversation alwiz leaves me entertained. Muahha... Enjoyed myself... esp the mudpie at coffee club. Kev is alwiz feeding me with high calorie food. Grrr... Like that how i lose weight? But he knows the way to make me happy.. FOOD FOOD. Stupid fellow said he'll get me maternity clothes for me so that i can wear when i come back after putting on the tons of pounds. *blehz* Mud pie from coffee club is great! i wanna go balcony n park myself on the nice 'bedlike thingy'. Next time k....

Slping time... tml got sch.. Lots more thots in my brains. Missing is wat my heart says....

sun sets @ 3:07 AM

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Observation for the day:
1) The office gets noisier at the end of the week.
2) Pple get into the office later in the week... but our bossy comes in earlier.
3) Eileen is quite bimbotic lorz... at least her actions speaks of it
4) Jia is in a super x'mas mood... from blog to gaming...
5) So many pple on my msn... but i only talk to the few.
6) Few pple would just msn me out of the blue.

sun sets @ 2:16 PM

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First half of day4. Woohoo... 1 and a half more days. *gaspz* Jia is hinting her keyboard REALLY REALLY hard... think the keys will pop out soon lorz... Eileen is being guai with her Time magazine... (*whispers* coz someone never bring lappy lohz) and me is blogging n sms-ing pple on wat they wanna eat on sun. (makes a mental note to order cake later)

Rather unfulfilling morning... And i'm really becoming a pig... I've been eating n eating... eat so much but i'm still hungry *stares at jia in amazement as she continues to whack her keyboard* (oh... the gal is training her figure... muahahaha...) AND my disguisting nose is running away... sighz... no rather ran away... Blehz...

Wanted to blog abt something... but i can't remember wat... obvious signs of ageing... N i'm getting a powerbook! Prolly get it from sg... more convenient... Haha...

sun sets @ 12:32 PM

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my IPOD VIDEO is sitting in lip's room now!!! Yippie!!!

i love you lip! Muahaha.... Come back i treat u k :)

and POWERBOOK might be sitting in his room too...
if i decide to get it. Muz consult mummy n my bank account first. :)

all at a cheaper rate!!!

sun sets @ 2:20 AM

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day 3 of work @ OCC ended with us having no boss to report too... i think we scared her off... Muahaha...
Went shopping with my dear friend after work ... and i would say no one can beat him in his suayness quotient for the day... HAHA...
3 times suayz...
First @ MRT station...
then @ Wheellock... coz someone wanted to grab a drink first... Haha...
then when we went to drown our... no wait..his sorrows in alcohol... he had to jinx himself by saying that the duet would play "she will be loved".
And guess wat... Haha... His "wish" came thru.. muahaha... See lah... some things cannot anyhow say one... end up jinxing yaself... Haha... The ironic part is the duet din play all the hip n new songs... they played nice old songs... n someone had to dedicate 'this love' but the duet chose to play the equally 'she will be loved' instead. I think he really is jinxed himself. Muahaha...

Saw many many things i wanna buy! I need to shop! shop! shop!

And wat's with everyone clubbing tonite? Everyone was msging me if i'm clubbing. Sheesh.. I'm a reformed gal. I dun club that much liaoz... Neither do i drink that much. Haha... Drinking has caused me a lot of matters-of-the-heart/misery/unhappiness... all the bad stuff la... But dun worry... those i promise to drink till we go kuku pple... we'll still go ahead before i leave k. :) Keeping the liver for our drinking session... 4 solid sessions... sheesh...

BUT we'll club next wed! Post-shar's-birthday celebration! Muahaha... Recruiting clubbing crew members! Those interested drop me a msg!

sun sets @ 1:40 AM

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Okiez... Back to doing wat i needed to do... which is CALL CALL n CALL... and we've got nice pretty pix of our lil cosy corner... till i find my cable transfer wire... muahaha... And SUSU is back!
Stuff worth noting for the day:
1) Eileen is the best candidate for telephone operator.... everyone seems to be nice to her!!! And she seems to haf fun on the phone lorz...
2) I'm being paid to update my blog.
3) I'm being paid to learn how to beautify my blog. Muahaha...
4) Certain activities r really good at brainwashing pple's mind.
5) Being busy cannot be used as an excuse. Priorities have to be set.
6) All my close friends are coming for dinner this Sun. My place is open for stayover... :)
7) Mummy bought lots of wine! And I forgot to order cake.... opps...

Till i learn how to create a blogskin on my own... bear with the black background. The next skin will haf a white background... my fav colour.

sun sets @ 5:23 PM

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

it's day 2 at work... and it's the "golden hour" to make phone calls to PAs... Muahaha...
Encounters with some PAs:
1) wat is PA? *piangz*
2) Hi this is XXXX calling from YYYY office. Regrets. Bye. *faintz* (side comments from jiali: what does she regret doing? muahhaa)
3) hot from the oven... shar: does he have any dietary requirements? secretary: huh? do you haf a menu to fax over to us? *double faintz* omg...
4) PA: i just came back from leave n i haf a lot of work piling on my table. I duno where to start from n i duno where's the invite. So can you call back later. (errr... this is not some complain hotline... i haf a job to do... just like u... so if u haf lots of work it doesn't really concern me... argh... mayb u should try telling ya bowels not to move since you haf sooo much work to do... Muahaha)

So much for big shots having PA...
PAs that dun seem zai at all... RUDE is one kind... but that's not the worst... the worst is those that yells... n tell u that the event is so much later... so why muz confirm now??? Hello... pple also need to plan for logistics n cater for ya bosses' dinner one lo... Just like u need to know wat events ya bosses haf so that u can arrange his schedule... But there are of coz some really nice n friendly ones la... those that i love to talk to... n just make my day...
And poor jia is being bullied by the fax machine... eheehee... first was the laminating machine the last time.. now the fax... lalala...

*sits and acts real busy while i wait patiently for lunch... n try not to nod off*
-incoherent

sun sets @ 11:12 AM

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was watching tong xin yuan earlier in the nite... Though it's like another zhen qing kind of show... i kinda like watching it... n there's nothing wrong with catching channel 8 drama serials... it's the small lil things in the show that makes reel life relate to real life. It's things that can happen in our everyday lifes... such a true reflection of pple... reflection of our family n friends n other halves. Sometimes u watch drama n laugh at the lil idiosyncrasy of it... but if u take a step back... u realise these are the exact same things tt are happening to u... or to the pple ard u... Anw it's alwiz nice to see the story have a nice n pretty ending... more often than not... shows alwiz haf a happy ending... pple like happy endings... who doesn't? dun we all wish for our lives to ultimately haf a happy ending? But we would never realize that it's a happy ending... maybe until ya death bed... or maybe when ya hair is all white... I've alwiz admired couples that stuck together... thru thick n thin... till their hairs are white... all the way to the end.. and ard them are their lil grandchildren running n bouncing ard. My church used to haf this old couple who would hold hands even though they are how old.... N how the wife would hold on to the slightly less alert husband... how the husband seem so non-chalent but yet he still looks out for her thru the side of his eyes or in some other small ways... It's just a sweet sight... sometime i wish i could attain when i reach their age.
Anw was watching one of the key characters... how this couple went thru a lot... how the guy isn't like any ordinary guy... oh wellz... n finally they ended up getting married. It's sweet. It only set my mind thinking... couples like them went thru ups n downs... n ultimately get together... i would say it's a feat... coz not everyone can endure all these... along the way somehow there would be a breaking pt... But then again... i dun understand how some can still break after enduring thru soo much together? Dun all those things that they've gone thru together mean anything to them? or are they just going to be the past? Sidetracking... a gal looks her best in bridal gal... So pwetty... I want a white wedding! best if it's at ice chapel! with snow n all... Haha... Lala... me n my white..... oh wellz...
Then another qn popped up... Is it worth it to wait for someone whom u hold so dearly to ya heart... but to him... u r just another gal... or maybe u duno wat u r to him... but u know he's moved on with someone else... Is it worth the wait? Is it the love that u haf for him that keeps u waiting? Or is it the memories of both of u that keeps u waiting? or is it just the lil delusion u put yaself thru? Or is it how u alwiz pictured yaself with him in future n still bear that hope? or is it that he's ya most ideal guy? or is it just wanting him tt keeps u waiting? What makes u want to wait? Wat if one day... u stare into the mirror n realize u r just an old lady who waited for nothing? Wat would kill that lil hope of waiting n getting him back?
Then in the process of waiting... wat if some other guy comes along? A guy who chases u... makes u feel loved again... would u accept him? Well... i won't... tt only makes it a rebound... But wat if a guy comes along... n u find yaself caring n looking out for him that lil bit... would u go for it? Give up ya wait n try to work things out? Try to work things out n still haf that lil hope burning in u while u slowly try to exttinguish it? Or would u just continue and wait?

Oh wellz... been a pretty good gal of late... domesticated in fact. I guess coz i dun feel like going out... dun feel like spending my moolah... not in the mood to club... n i dun need to run anymore... i dun really need things to occupy my mind as i used to need somewhile back... I can just laze n home n not feel damn sick abt tt... only reminds me of wat this friend told me... breaking up is just merely returning to the state u were in... a state where u spent at least more than 10 yrs in... so wat's the big deal abt it? He might just be right... home is the best place i can be in... a place that i'll miss in the months to come... i'll miss my room.. my bed.. my bedside companions... sofie n smelly n my mogu n my chow chow pillows n bolsters n my thick blanket...

The past are meant to remain in the past. quotes min...
So true... but we can't totally forget the past or stay indifferent abt it... u can't wipe out the past esp all the memories... no matter how much u try to... it's more of how u move along n live ya current life... it's like building ya current life on top of the past. tt's wat i learnt from him... much as u may hate ya other's half past... much as ya new half may haf memories n feelings of the past... it's all past... and there's a reason why they r urs now... (but i dun discount the fact tt some may treat the new one as a rebound)... it's now how 2 pple try to live their current lives built on their past...

sun sets @ 12:36 AM

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Monday, December 05, 2005

Finally back home after day 1 of work... I really hate taking train at peak hours! It's crowded n crowded n more crowded... It's like almost impoosible to board the train lah... WTH... I hate public transport!!! Argh... I so will get a car next time... Or not it's CAB, CAB n more CAB. Yes i'm pampered... I want to be pampered!!!! HAHAHA....
It was a darn slack day 1... boring too... We were sooo bored that we were literally taking our time to finish wat we haf on hand... And i think everytime we look for the person in charge... she looks vexed... It's kinda furni... Anw i hate to call strangers!!! Though phone calls to some big shots were made... N some ass PA is so blardy rude lah... Think she's such big F***.
Pt aside...
I had a really weird dream... weird dream of someone else... i guess maybe wat i wrote in my previous entry is coming true...

sun sets @ 7:29 PM

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Sunday, December 04, 2005

sometimes when u just need someone to talk to or someone to just sit by the beach with u as u run thru ya thots... n get a breather... u start to wonder... where that person is... or maybe even wonder who that person is...
Never had this problem... but seems like i'm facing this problem. it's not i can't turn to friends... but sometimes it's just nice to turn to that special one... n let that special one be the first to hear it all...

-depressed... part of the private side of me...

sun sets @ 9:56 PM

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so many words left unspoken,
so many things left undone,
maybe it's better this way,
but is it really better off like that?
or are we just fighting our own internal battle?
a battle of urs which will remain urs...
a battle of mine which will just remain mine...
a battle that is unspoken n unseen.
the barrier that stands in our way remains
no matter how hard we fight
we can't take that barrier down
for one simple reason...
we're fighting opposite each other
not fighting hand in hand...
so its just a useless battle....
stubborness gets me nowhere
accepted things as they are
time isn't on my side
i've lost the drive to fight
fight for anything, anyone...
not anymore...
everything seems so placid
it's only the surface...
deep inside...
the furnace of lava is boiling....
why bother caring when the other doesn't
care, love, concern is to be shown n felt...
speaking of them means nothing.
talk is cheap...

Just some very very random stuff... though a lit student for 4 yrs... my poemtic or prose is still "half a bucket full of water". Muahaha... For those who are bored n visit this place regularly... i'll post stuff for ya entertainment... provided i haf internet connection n my lappy with me lorz... Haha...

signing off... the gal who's still full of thots....

sun sets @ 2:15 PM

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Back from my 2nd clubbing session since the end of my exams! haha... Yepz... i'm back home sane enough to be blogging... Or rather... i kept my sanity throughout... Allowed myself to be high on friends' companionships and the music... And not alcohol... And i succeeded... though my nanny is complaining non-stop abt that... Haha... For once... i got to be the nanny! Lalala... Anw... the new Zouk cum phuture isn't that fantastic... Blehz... 1 month of renovation did not do much to the place... i still prefer the old place... esp the old phuture... Preferred the old layout... rather than the new layout... though it seems to give the place a lil more dance floor... or maybe coz the crowd wasn't really in... The old seems much better... haha... maybe coz of memories at the old phuture bah...
Sentences of the nite: "Toast to the new term.... I'll be seeing XXX next term." Muahaha... Sorry... i just found this really amusing... esp the no of times i was repeated... but guesss wat... the glass of graveyard NEVER moved... or rather it's movement wasn't from the toaster! Mauahha... And the next sentence of the nite: "I'm cool." Maybe it doesn't seem so cool... but the action was HILARIOUS. Muahaha... Clubbing was good! The company was great... esp with the "ah hiang" n the psuedo "ah beng" who loves zouk music! I still love phuture's music! Anytime manz... haha... whether RnB or not... phuture still rocks! I miss wed's phuture's RnB. Anw games for that? Haha.....
Like this state that i'm in now... High on music n company... And just a lil high on alcohol... U know the stage where u drink enough to get high to bounce ard with the music... and after all that dancing... the alcohol has just seem to disappear from ya blood. Haha... And cow makes one funny dancer! Darn... wished i was high enough n stayed on to dance with that dude then i can really laugh it all off! (yar... i know u can't wait to get me high just to watch me be xiao... Muahaha... Next time when i get high... one-on-one on the dance floor yar... only if u r high... otherwise.. nah... haha... ) Somewat i miss clubbing with "my guy"... whoever that guy is at tat pt of my life... at least i can club in peace... not needing to haf puttting my defences n watch who's ard me... coz at least i know he's there to protect me... with him ard me... so that no other guys can get close... I sooo miss that... But watever... clubbing with nice good friends are equally fun! And yes nanny... when i'm in the mood to drink... we'll go club... 2 lambo-es + more... Haha... Paiseh la... though i promised to want to drink n ki xiao tonite... i just din feel like drinking... (yar... the good gal had only a lambo... a lil graveyard... some beer... n some other chapalang drink) And yes... i made a lot of first time stmts... esp out of an alcoholic n chiongster... Haha...Oh well... guess it all was the post effect of that faithful thurs clubbing session which i duno wat i did... and the 4 hours that i sat at the salon today to get my hair done.
Yeah... i went to the hair saloon to get my hair messed up again... But at least this time... this messing with my hair doesn't represent a new episode to my life... hmmm... or maybe it does... i dun really know... It takes 2 to clap... tt's all i haf to say... Oh well... Had a ice spa treatment... darn shiok n cooling... rebonded my hair... cut it... and had a hair treatment... Thank goodness i din say i wanted to highlight it... or not i'll be stuck there for i duno how long more... All these made me one kind sleepy as i sat there and observed watever was happening ard me... And i cost quite a fair bit... Haha...
To all those going BSM... n to my fellow clubbers tonite who left earlier coz of tml's BSM flight... hope u guys can wake up... N take lots of pix.. N POST YA BLOGS with pix n stories n gossips so i can read!!!! *winks*Haf fun on the trip n haf a safe safe trip! Waiting for u guys to come back to haf another clubbing session k... n no excuses to leave early!

-gal full of thots... be back here tml. Nitez-

sun sets @ 4:12 AM

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

baby, stop lingering...
stop lingering in this space where i cant grab you,
baby, you chose to leave,
so leave this space too; a space where i cant control
baby you can come back
but i know you wont and will never; so
baby, pls stop lingering...
leave this space for someone else can come in...

sun sets @ 6:27 AM

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arghh.... all of a sudden my nose is running non-stop... n i'm sneezing non-stop... it's either someone is missing me (i wonder who...) or i'm down with the buggie again... no wrong... down with a cold... N i feel feverish.... *sobz sobz*
2nd nite tt i can't sleep... I fall aslp n feel slpy at the wrong hours! Wat's wrong with me?!?!?

sun sets @ 3:42 AM

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T-bill... Present value... term to maturity... coupon rate... volatility... duration... BEY... yield... bookstrapping... coupon stripping... OMG... My brain is going to explode... 9pm to 1am... with godzillar breaks in between + my super late dinner... STARING AT FI (fixed income fyi). 6 chapters of fabozzi (my text)... Now i shall head to my slides first... since the end of fabozzi is nowhere in sight... 9 more chapters... Gosh... i'm not even half way thru... Okie... fabozzi is my attempt to be a good gal n do extra reading in hope of salvaging my FI. Haha... 4 or i think 5 more session of boring slides to go... All the text! *sighz*
Mugging is driving me up the wall... i've been taking stupid pix esp of my messy room... n my new lil teddy bear which my mum gave me... No she din buy for me... someone gave it to her and so it's in my room... It's an small lil RUSS angel bear (angelic like me... oppz... no... i'm the fallen angel) haha... staring at me mug... Shall post pix some other time...

JIAYOU all of u out there mugging esp for corp report... which everyone terms it as corpse... haha...

sun sets @ 1:40 AM

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