life's a one way road

Thursday, January 31, 2008

sometimes i wish i'm one of those who can love n dump

like nothing matters nor feelings involved

there are still questions which i still can't answer.

so dun sound me out coz more often than not the answer hurts or you prolly know the answer.

for now... it's just

work

friends

my bed

my shows

more than enough to keep me busy & going...

with london in sight & the shit i bring back wif it...

my life will just be reduced to me & work

and many unspokens...

coz i've learnt...

communications doesn't alwiz lead to action but makes us more vulnerable to another chance to be 'attacked' or 'hurt'

sun sets @ 12:28 AM

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

had the worst dream last nite & that was the start of the suayness

overslept. got into office first thing see her at my row there. then had a super long lunch & had to leave early.

sucks.

anw felt so helpless in my dream last nite...

i shouted but no voice came out.

i tried to move but i couldn't

all i could feel was myself dying bit by bit...

bit by bit of me getting electrocuted n churned up.

scary.

woke up n i wished i had that one person to hug....

n sweet dreams for tonite....

signs off,

confused rat

sun sets @ 11:59 PM

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OMG. Found this photo on my desktop... Taken like mid last year...
1) I've aged.. half a yr only... haiz... DOWNHILL....
2) I miss my long hair
3) I could do wif a bit of chubbiness on my face (i say FACE only.. the rest of the body CANNOT afford it)

okie... that's abt it.

It's been a while since James Blunt hit the radio stations or my playlist... Heard it while shopping @ Chinatown... Hahaha... I still love his songs....

Goodbye my lover....

You're Beautiful...

Time to find a live band that plays these songs & chill to...

N after much much much deliberation... *drumrolls* I got my bimbo luggage... the larger one... though i love the carton-printed-NY luggage one too.... Now i can hang my Donald luggage tag on too... wahahaha.... suddenly my life is complete (juz kidding!)

N it's back to work in a couple of hours.....

sun sets @ 1:47 AM

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Sunday, January 27, 2008

assumption:
1) no need for matching of each piece of article
2) no particular dress code

i just realised....
we (mum + me) have enough
watches to go round for 2 weeks
handbags to go round for at least 1 month (numbers not fully tallied)
accessories of every single colour
shawls of all colours, textures n feel
perfume enough to let us smell differently for 10 days

and I have enough
jackets/sweaters/pullovers/cardis to go round for a month (might be an understatement too)
heels to go round for 20 days
birks to go round for 5 days
flats for another 7 days
dresses to go round for 2 weeks
bottoms to go round for 5 weeks
tops to go round for at least 3 months
sports attire for 1 week (irony since i dun exercise)

OMG. n it's still an irony how all these are never ENOUGH.
n i still wear the same things everyday.
haiz....
WHY LIKE THAT????
i need a walk-in wardrobe to house everything together.......

sun sets @ 4:18 PM

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i realize i quite like the wedding gown that facebook posted of my results of what kind of bride will you be.
Nice, stylish, long train n white.
i like.
okie... enough of love-related stuff... doesn't help that v-day is coming...
eeeekssss..
anw nice song........ though the video a bit cheesy....

sun sets @ 12:45 AM

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Saturday, January 26, 2008

feel like i'm being tracked.
the tone of doubt annoys me to the max.
n stop attributing all the late nights n bad stuff to that one person.
it's never about only one hand clapping.
it's not easy to deal wif some stuff alone.. so dun make things tougher.
n i suspect that one day i will not be wif the one person i love but the one person u prefer...
it's times like this that i want to live alone.

n in a way.. we hurt pple in ways we never thot they would be hurt....

sun sets @ 4:22 AM

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Friday, January 25, 2008

got so many plans running thru my head now...
die...
options
1) go factory outlet shop
2) stay ldn to shop
3) eurostar to paris & disneyland
4) budget air to spain for the weekend
5) budget air to sweden to chill for the weekend

okie...
1 & 2 will make me real poor but a happy gal when i'm back
3 sounds like a brilliant idea since i get to visit another disneyland but not such a good idea since i'll be alone & disneyland needs the right companion
4 isn't a bad idea if i haf the energy to shop & i can dun think abt work but real tired on monday
5 is good if there are cheap tickets. back to somewhere i am more used to. can chill out n relax n best of it all H&M & vera moda... best if i can hit jonkoping or kiruna. haha.. but that's too much time & effort

at the end of it... i might just be too tired to go anywhere......
best is to find someone i know a lil better at least i can whine... hahaha

sun sets @ 12:58 AM

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

i just found myself more excuse to shop & buy the stuff i wanna buy but could never haf justified the purchases.
n i just justified my php expensive thick jacket purchase & for the jacket the gals got me... i found more use for it ;)
hahaha...
omg..
so happy...
i just want to share my joy wif the world but i shall refrain...
so many pple i wanna share it wif...
most of it all...
thanks for answering my prayers

sun sets @ 11:13 PM

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

what does it mean to love?
what does it mean to stop loving someone?
and we'll alwiz forgive the person we love....

sun sets @ 10:18 PM

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*happy*
Thanks to the girls & guy! They got me the white jacket that i was eye-ing! Specially flown back from PHP! hehehe...
*happy like bird*

anw it's time to live healthy... think i'm falling sick again.... n the weighing machine has hit past my max ideal weight. *sighz*
and someone just told me i need to exercise.... *sobz*
time to gym!!!!

sun sets @ 1:33 AM

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

if i ever get married...
i will make sure i haf enough money for my dream wedding... n the best photographer ard to take the best shots n i'll hunt down the most beautiful places...
otherwise i rather not haf any.
afterall u get married only once n i would want to look back wif a smile.

I shall continue to build my dream wedding..
inspired on by the pple who are getting married one by one...

congrats gal! n i start to believe the saying that the bride is the prettiest in her wedding gown..

sun sets @ 2:00 AM

(1) rays of light

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Back to EARTH. Bye to the life of a queen.
And thanks to my lousy tummy, i got an extra day off or not i would haf to crawl to office.
Haha... Anw nonetheless i managed to feast on my KRISPY KREMES & yam ice-cream & oat-meal crisps. Imported from php.
DAMN SHIOK.
Unpacking everything makes me realize that i really din shop that much of my stuff other than my clothes.
Dare not count my damages...
I'll shall just sleep it off

it's back to work tml...
i miss waking up to greeting the bedstickers..
shopping & stuffing ourselves...
& i miss bedsticking!

sun sets @ 11:14 PM

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

3 hours to flying off.. hahaha...
okie.. now i'm more tired than anything.
i declared that i will leave the office at 530.
but guess what.. i left at 730. so there went my lil nap. PFFFT....
stupid issues... and not well-handled...
n i got lost in translation while someone else handled it...
but i'm expected to know wat's going on.
HAIZ.
anw... so now i'm just waiting to zip off to the airport...
and evil pple curse my no-return. BRRR....
contactable by hp if u guys want anything from there. wahahaha

sun sets @ 8:57 PM

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feels so loved by the pple ard me...
they all treat me like lil gal...
haha...
:)
lil things that make my day..
but i greedy...
more won't kill...
(:

sun sets @ 12:15 AM

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slept so much longer than usual last nite but i was a gonna in office.
seriously suspecting that i'm still sick & the germs r still fighting
or not,.. i need a new bed.. or a better bed with better pillows.
haiz.
flying off tml n money not changed yet. sighz. hahaha...
hope i won't go mad shopping & spending money...
seems like a trend nowadays...
blehz.
a ray of hope appeared at work.
i hope this will spur me on to stay.
or rather i hope i can get to go to ldn.
well at least it'll be a motivation for me to stay on & contribute..
a booster for me i guess... n i hope i'm up for it....
i can only pray...
help me pray k...

off to bed... n chionig to office finish off all the issues & chiong home & to the airport... haha...

sun sets @ 12:01 AM

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

it's perfect weather to hit the sack but i could do with some blogging n doesn't help that the radio is actually playing some great slow n tactfully emo songs today. perfect for the soul n mind. very in-line with how i feel. the slow soft beats n the soothing voice. i shall satisfy wif the radio for now till i build up my playlists. n it would haf been perfect if i could lie at my platform & stare at the sky n watch the rain falling... pity the platform is in a mess wif my shoping & my travel stuff.

counting down to the days of flying off. I wish it would be a long trip away from home.. but it's just a short weekend getaway. but i'm not complaining. for the first time i'm travelling wif the gals n it definitely isn't an easy feat to get all of us zipping off together. there's alwiz the first time and i hope there will be more to come... looking forward... n excited but yet i can't feel the kind of excitement from deep within.

attempting to pack only makes me miss the days of exchange where i'm perpetually travel ready.. dump into the backpack n off.. but now i guess it takes a lot more effort to pack everything. blehz. i miss exchange. i miss travelling wif different pple. i can safely say i've travelled wif quite a number of pple n all went well. i somewhat look forward to travelling wif more friends n diff group of friends. the different chemistry that arises is amazing. but now that we're all back in sg & working.. such travelling opportunities have become a luxury. we'll work something out bah.

despite travelling so much... i will never fail to harbour the thot 'wat if something happens when i travel' or 'what if i dun get to come back' n i'll want to pen letters wif my heartfelt feelings to leave for these pple as memories. BUT everything i never get that done. I guess that's a good thing. i just means i'll be back. haha.. and once again the urge is here... haha... well we'll see.. n it doesn't help when there r kukus who reminds me of how not so safe php is.. n how they have volunteered themselves for my 'possible willed' assets. Haha...

for now.. it's to enjoy the perfect weather..
n wish that i'm just my bears sitting on the platform
想念

sun sets @ 11:28 PM

(1) rays of light

geez...
the eye bags are growing darker n bigger...
the eye cream isn't helping.
sighz.
in need of some quality n unfitful sleep.
.
we spend our lives waiting...
i'm just hoping that this is a waiting game that we won't live to regret.
sometimes i wish we had the courage to put down our guards n just try some things out.
if u never try you will never know.
at least if u tried n failed.. at least u know that u've tried.
so for now... it's hang in there.
.
and sometimes i think i'm so optimistic that i could just die in all the hopefulness (if there's such a word)
.

sun sets @ 1:59 AM

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Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Romantic - You know exactly how to melt your date's heart. Romance comes naturally to you and is an important component of any relationship you have.

Your date match profile:

Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Big-Hearted
3. Romantic
4. Adventurous
5. Sensual
6. Athletic
7. Practical
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Stylish
10. Religious

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Athletic
2. Conservative
3. Religious
4. Stylish
5. Big-Hearted
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Practical
8. Romantic
9. Traditional
10. Adventurous

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

sun sets @ 1:32 AM

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Monday, January 07, 2008

haiz...
why is the option alwiz about leaving here...
haiz...

sun sets @ 1:24 AM

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Saturday, January 05, 2008

don't we all sometimes know what we want
but yet we are never truthful about it
and we just say things to hide it all

sun sets @ 1:13 AM

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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

n so... qn for 2008...
what is love?

thanks zal for the song!

sun sets @ 10:42 PM

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Reflections of 2007
a tad late but better than nothing.
i can barely remember what i did to usher in 2007. somehow my memories have been rather selective in remembering things. the effects of age & i guess the alcohol & coffee.
2007 has indeed been a fruitful year i guess. It saw one of the milestones in my life: the full transition of my life as a student to the working world. Welcome to the rat race! Upon looking back, I'm not too sure if I've made the right career choices. But I believe there's a reason to the choices I've made. I alwiz counted my blessings in my job offers, though they may not be the ones that I want. But nonetheless we all have to start off somewhere. I'm thankful for the opportunities that my previous director has given me. At the end of it all, I'm glad that I've moved here. Got to know a lot of pple... got to better know some who have progressed on to not just being colleagues but friends. Thanks to this bunch of pple who keeps my sanity ard in the otherwise monotonous office... though i could do without being suan-ed & the target board. haha...
Travels was not too bad... though it will never fight with 2006. hahaha... Jan saw nice HK trip with my gals.. first ever since we all started earning our own keeps. Got to visit one of my disneyland! Went over to Beijing & Mongolia too... It was an interesting trip.. esp to Mongolia & chekcing out their lifestyle.
As for the rest of 2007, it's been filled with fun laughter peace n joy and wif memories of all the wonderful times i haf with my friends. Thanks for all the memories.. the chill out sessions, the uncountable MJ sessions, the paintball, the dinners & the parties. Thanks all for making that lil difference.
And to you... Thanks for everything... Being there when i need you. I'm sorry that things turned out that way but at the end of it all, my bad. Sorry.
This pretty much sums up my 2007... the rest remains to be known by me.
So to a better 2008. *cheers*

sun sets @ 9:20 PM

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