life's a one way road

Friday, July 25, 2008

tired but somehow the peace and the tranquility of the night has set you into this very pensive mode. falling ill isn't something much desired but it's really your body's way of telling you to slow down & take a break. you've been going on n on, packing days n weekends, going through with life without really allowing yourself to sit down n reflect on the things that have happened.

as you scroll through the inbox of your phone, you realize the amount of baggage you've kept in your phone. some intentionally while some unintentionally stayed there coz you never found your way through the whole list to get them deleted. And this very action only makes you realize that each time you go through your inbox, you delete at least one sms which you used to hold dearly to your heart. And each time you scroll thru the list n see the name(s), the heart aches lesses n lesser n you guess one fine day when all the sms-es have been personally deleted, it's the day you've learnt to fully let go.

This simple process of deleting sms-es makes you realize how much things have happened through a short stint of 8 months. It seems like a long time ago but in actual fact, it hasn't even been half a year. And well, half a year many things can happen. It's amazing how feelings can change so quickly... instances you have seen way too many times (or at least in your opinion) in the last year to make you realize how transient things are.

One moment, you are so close to that someone, and next you realize you are being treated like a stranger n in somewhat like half a year, you discover the church bells ring. Not for you n the person, but for that person n someone else. This makes you wonder and it's a puzzle you can yet unfold. Some things go beyond 2 pple being together. As long as that person is happy you'll be happy for that person too. Is that what they call the essence of love? Maybe.

One moment, you are so close to someone, and next you realize you are just back to being friends. Being a good friend to that one you fancy and had once gotten so close too, is painful and yet draining. But yet at the end of it, you simply hang in there and hope the other party does one day come to that realization that there's something more than that friendship which is keeping you hanging in there. From the start, we all know, it's taboo but yet we let things happen. And now we can only make do with life going on.

One moment, you are so close to someone - the closeness of a brother. That's how you feel but you know its otherwise. And this is something you won't want to lose but you know someday you might have to graciously left it go. And this has yet to been seen and you hope that you will never have to deal with such situations.

One moment, you are close to that someone but yet you barely know that person through and through. And after years of distancing, you grow to be close once again. And somehow you lose it again. And as time passes by, you refound this closeness. So what does this has installed for you? It's yet to be known.

One moment, you discover yourself growing closer to this someone. Next running thought in your head, is this going to end just like how the others ended? And this leaves you wondering and thinking...

So many one moments but when will be THE moment? I wonder.

Similar to taking the same roller coaster ride over n over again, the thrill depreciates with each extra ride. This is what they call utility isn't it. It applies to the moments too.

Trivial as these may seem. Deem them emo as you may wish too. But I believe everyone holds different priorities in their life & everyone's ability to handle and process different aspects of their lives differs. And this is what makes some things trivial to some but yet important to others.

To everyone out there, hang on in there for whatever 'trivials' that life has installed for you. Coz there's always something to learn out of it.

sun sets @ 12:55 AM

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