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Saturday, September 30, 2006

horrible week. at least it's over. but another tough one coming up. *sighz*
N this term i keep seeing mr charming smile... HA-HA-HA... been more than a year since biz camp n i still think his smile is still as charming as ever. His hi-smile simply makes my day. Too bad we never got past talking to each other. Blehz.
it's alwiz the smile that gets me... that charming smile... but too bad haven't found many guys with such charm.
*prays* (someone wipe me off my feet pls) *prays*
i need some motivation to get my lazy arse to sch... sch's becoming a boreeeee... a dreaddddd....
& it's sch for tml AGAIN. Mind u it's sunday manz. Sabbath. :s


sun sets @ 4:36 PM

(0) rays of light

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

walking in the rain is how fun.
can get hooked onto my addiction once again i hope... keke


sun sets @ 12:50 PM

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SHOUT OUT TO
YINGJIE. MIN. BOSS.
i'm so bored & sleepy in corp (officially corpse) class that i'm doing this... wahaha...

I can't do dinner on weekdays. Me has to work. Haiz... Unless u all want to come eat ard PS during my dinner time... can check out this vietnamese restaurant @ The Atrium... or not we go on weekends! Hmmm... yingjie's treat huh? keke... oh... let's go and check out this nice chill-out cum dinner place @ Alexandra Road want (due to the lack of sleep from the desperate cramping of corpse into my brain, i can't seem to remember the place) ??? (whispers... when got car... )

Done with tests for this week which explains much of my disappearance from the cyber world. YES! Can supper liaoz...& chill for a wee bit before next weeks - going to be another crazy week... presentation & mid-term. Boooo... Blehz... But i guess I will still be somewhat missing from this cyberworld... this time it's of choice. Kinda sian of this cyberworld... just want to leave it behind for awhile... SO if u wanna find me... try the other technologically advanced gadget called HANDPHONE. Though sometimes i really do want to dump that gadget away too... such a pain-in-the-arse. But on the contrary, I'm alwiz happy to get sms-es & calls. OXYMORON.
Can't we all go back to the old age without HP, Internet and all that. (hmmm... maybe for a week??? )
P
-E-A-C-E-C-A-E-P

6 hrs of sleep in 2 days is making me a lil cranky... n amazingly i'm not tired. CHAMZ. looking forward to going to work... it's the pple.. not the job.


sun sets @ 11:14 AM

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

one down. screwed. screw it.
haiz... one more to go.. lagi screwed. TMD.

and did i mention that i love this morning class coz of the eye candy. OMG. SO CUTEE... *drools*
mixed blood...
another breed of guy that i like. WAHAHAHA...
but it all boils down to... the smile...


sun sets @ 10:40 AM

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Monday, September 25, 2006

from some test thingy...
The purpose of life for those with a 9 life path is often of a philosophical nature. Judges, spiritual leaders, healers and educators frequently have much 9 energy. The number is less inclined to the competitive business environment and may find this a struggle.
is this why i'm struggling here??? sigh. somehow i knew i din belong to this world. there's something abt this business world that doesn't go with me.

gave up on my books. just sitting back n enjoying the tranquailty of the nite. prolly the only peace i get in this bustling city.
peace, love, faith, truth, simplicity.


sun sets @ 3:26 AM

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mugging is making so sian n depressed. sighz. i just feel like giving in to my addiction. at least i know the addiction will make me happy even if it's for that moment. i miss this addiction of mine. :( i wish i could indulge in it forever.
-sad & confused.


sun sets @ 1:22 AM

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mugging is making so sian n depressed. sighz. i just feel like giving in to my addiction. at least i know the addiction will make me happy even if it's for that moment. i miss this addiction of mine. :( i wish i could indulge in it forever.
-sad & confused.


sun sets @ 1:22 AM

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Sunday, September 24, 2006

this is wat happens when you haf a class of 38 pple (opps or 36???)
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sun sets @ 3:59 PM

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-haha-
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sun sets @ 3:51 PM

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pigs can fly.
i wish i could be up there flying again.
sobz but i'm stuck on the ground meddling with corp(se) text.
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sun sets @ 3:37 PM

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pre-departure. maiden airplane ride. my tandemn diver.
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sun sets @ 3:30 PM

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haha... someone says she'll give me a bf for my birthday. Haha... So i shall start listing criteria to make the present easier to find. Wahaha...
  • platable to my eyes. not need too good looking lah.
  • well-dressed... knows how to dress up lah. best is got fashion sense but not the metro metro kind lah. n not dress to kill lah. grooms himself.
  • carry himself well... articulate pls
  • street smart. dun want a mugger.
  • seeks excitement in life n eqaully bo liao n restless as me
  • well-read. talk abt everything n anything. nourish my tiny winny brain.
  • caring, loving, a wee-bit romantic n sweet. gentle too! n i loved being surprised n pampered! haha...
  • loved by my family n friends.
  • nice to me n friends. Haha...
  • someone who doesnt' read too much into things pls... n dun play games (literal games n mind games.)
  • potential to earn for me to spend. WAHAHA... this is big bonus lor! but cannot be all career minded.

Dun want to list anymore. The list will never stop one. Maybe it's easier to find gold bar on the streets hor... & i'm not describing someone.

thanks hor. looking forward to my bday present! Wahahaha...

reading this horoscope thingy.. it's how true. geez. some of the things that i read of are the very things i learn only after losing. this is scary.

& studying is driving to writing stupid posts. like this. more to come.



sun sets @ 3:47 AM

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

when your head has been splitting for the last 3 days and you thot that u lack sleep. and so u sleep for the longest u could ever sleep but u still wake up feeling that u can't help but feel like chopping ya head off or banging it against the wall. that pretty much sums up what i feel like doing now. chop off my head... but that's way to gruesome... so the best alternative is to try some head-banging... maybe i should blast some head-banging music to go along. wahaha...
in times like this i just wish for a massage from the loved one n be loved. wahaha.... (the head is building sandcastles in the air)
fuzzy wazzy got me tricked for the whole lunch but doesn't matter coz
fuzzy wazzy loves meeeeeeeeee.....


sun sets @ 3:07 PM

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*drained*
physically drained from kb & jogging
mentally drained from sch & work
emotionally drained from ??? nothing i guess
financially drained from the fact i'm allowance-less & i'm only paid monthly
:s
i'm so tired. blehz. for once i dun haf to set the alarm n i can wake up at my own whimp n fancy. decided to grant myself this one day of sleep despite the pile of work n readings.
-thots of the day-
1. bank jobs r not really for females unless it's on of those slack ones. ultimately, it requires way way to much committment where the working hours run way beyond your pay. many would beg to defer but this is wat i feel based on wat i see & wat i experience. a lot of your thots are moulded by ya family upbringing n background. so my stand here is... bank jobs r only for the super career minded pple...pple who r willing to slog... & much more. too tired to write
2. studying n working n spending remaining time with my friends is the best lifestyle for now.
3. i guess it's nice to be loved n all...but yet i'm not ready to embrace it oncce again as of this moment.
4. information flows... u can't hide anything.

n since the head is still spinning... i shall take off to bed n wait for prince charming to kiss me awake. *yeah... i can go on sleeping forever*


sun sets @ 3:36 AM

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

there's this one thing i want back from u
if u still even have it.


sun sets @ 2:44 AM

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Monday, September 18, 2006

i'm missing my girlies... so sad i can't meet up with u gals.
to the everdearest lizard, hang in there k. I miss u sooo...
to xue, haven got a chance to catch u online since u reached. hope u're settling in fine.
to sc, hope labs coming along fine! invite me to ya place. wahaha...
hmm... who else reads this... own up. so i can do my shout out! haha..

i know...
i still put on a very thick mask
i can't smile thru it
i can't live like the mask is my true self
i feel so stoned n casted by it
the tears r incapable of flowing
or maybe they haf dried up
the mask is starting to come apart
someone pls tear it down for me
and let it be u...





sun sets @ 3:53 AM

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

there's someone who made me really happy.
it's a repeat scenerio which scares me a lil.
but happy.
like a silly idiot smiling to her lappy.
that's me.


sun sets @ 5:41 AM

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

r my goals in life so low?
am i so not ambitious?

i think so...


sun sets @ 3:49 PM

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getting swirled into the deep and ominous world of my own thots.
wish i could relate to someone. but who?
somehow everyone seems to be at a different stages in life now. and parts of my life has been entrusted to different pple. now i wish i could there's this person who knows everything and i'm comfy talking with. blehz.

dilemma.

confused.

missing the dam & ecp & boulevard & even changi

take me for a spin
take me for a ride
let the wind blow my thots away
let the peace sweep me away
let the speed overcome me


sun sets @ 4:47 AM

(0) rays of light

Friday, September 15, 2006

Had supper! Like my first since I started work. I'm so fortunate to haf fellow pig(s) like me! Wahaha... Time to hunt for later nite supper kakis since i'll end work how late. This will then spare one more person from turning to ah pui.
Was talking to the cab uncle which brought me to the realisation that I'll be graduating really really soon (that's if i decide not to double major... hmmm... actually now to think of it... i'm kinda liking my second major more n more... n if my current employer wants to hire me till next year... i might just study more. Wahaha... ) Time really flies and soon I'll be out there slogging my arse off and joining the work force. Looking at all the pple ard me working, working life does seem a little sad.
Routine of a working life...
  • Get up in the morning
  • Rush with the crowds on the mrt/bus n if u drive, rush with the traffic n get yaself all worked up early in the morning
  • Get to the office, settle down, grab a cup of coffee
  • Check emails (till date i haf yet to decide if it's a bliss or a curse) As a student, i think emails are a bitch. the amt of email that finds their way to my mailbox is enough to make u feel like trashing the icon into the trash bin. But of coz u know it doesn't help, coz it's omni-present! Wahaha... The only good thing is that most of sch mails can just be deleted without opening them. (but then again, with the sch network being msn-unfriendly, emails haf found another function. Wahaha... I'm sure some of my friends testify to that) Office mails are a different issue. Every single frigging mail needs to be read coz u can't differentiate an impt mail from a junk mail via its sender. So that sucks. And i swear it sucks. Now tat i've decided to join the working world prematurely, emails indeed intensify the degree of suckiness. Every email has to be carefully scanned at the very least and i can no longer just send mails to the trash can without reading for fear of some impt stuff i need. And sometimes mails that doesn't concern me gets into my mail box. Why was this field cc & bcc even introduced. OMG. For a temp, I dunno how come i ended having my own personal email account n the number of mails i see inside is AMAZING. I was expecting to haf lil or no mails. And soon when I have to start sending my own mails, I'll curse & swear at the email. So now i'm plagued with sch mailbox, office mailbox, hotmail, yahoo & gmail, which the latter 3 are growing cobwebs.
  • Start work. N the phones start ringing. I really hate it when all the phones start ringing. Haha.. Thank goodness the phones are none of my business... n i'll keep it that way. But i guess the only good thing abt phones is i can bug the IT department none stop. Wahaha... So much that they expedite my requests so efficiently. Wahaha...
  • Lunch comes. It's once again time to squeeze n fight with the rest of the working crowd. N another decision needs to be made. Doesn't that suck? Haha... esp since u have to make tons of decisions in the office and just when u thot u could get a break, u haf to decide on where n wat to eat. N for the upper management, maybe lunch is prolly one of those meals that u forego coz the pile of work can only start clearing when the other staff have gone for lunch.
  • Then it's back to work & u haf like sleeping after a nice n heavy meal. And u just start counting down to the end of the day.
  • And when that time to knock off comes, U realise u still have tons of things on ya to-do things that needs to be cleared. And low and behold, U OT. Haha... For those who gets OT, good lorhz. Motivation to work. Those without OT, oh wellz... just work lor. Usually u dun get paid such high paying jobs for no reason. Haha... Sometimes when u think about it, maybe getting OT pay sounds like a better deal after doing really thorough calculations. Haha...
  • Now that it's off office hours, u work in a more relaxed fashion... hmmm... or maybe u rush a lot more as u try to chiong home. Work n work n work. When u finally decide u r done for the day (notice it's not done with work. coz work is never ending!) or are too tired to go on, you look @ your watch, only to discover it's 8 or even later.
  • Pack up & head home! Well, at least by then the trains are less crowded (i hope) Haha...

Typical office life ya. Haha... That's wat's going to hit me in a couple of months. Embrace it or shun it? That's for all u graduating peeps to decide. For now, i embrace it. 1st week of work n i'm starting to like working more n more. Liking my employer (not coz of the prestigious name), & my colleagues albeit the slightly monotonous job (but hey if u think abt it most jobs get monotonous over time, with exceptions lah). But i'm learning more n more each day though i do pretty much the same thing everyday and i'm getting better n better @ it. Wahaha... N soon that whole damn thing will be handled by me. NOOOOOO.... But my boss says I'll get my job rotation in 3 months. Hmm... does tt mean i'll be staying there beyond this year? Hmmm...

Just a thot: Would you rather do a job that earns you tons of money & is those prestigiously well-known n sounding (those woah-jobs) & not really enjoy it (conditions: ok average working condition, colleagues who are ok.) or do a job that u enjoy and earn much less (considtions: ok working condition, fun n fun-loving colleagues) Which would you go for?

My views another day. I'm off to bed....



sun sets @ 3:32 AM

(0) rays of light

Thursday, September 14, 2006

dreams speak so much of our inner minds
so stop running
let ya inner mind take the centre stage for a moment
i miss youH
How many times must i deny my feelings before i would dare admit it and confess. why? i'm happy with the way things are now and i dun want and dun dare upset the way things are. so it comes with a sacrifice. do you belong to that special place in my heart?
woke up and realized wat if one day i met the ex? wat would my reaction be? (hi, long time no see. how u doing? anw got to run. bye n keep in touch [which would solely be said out of courtesy]) wat would his reaction be? beats me. bumped into 2 of his friends, projecting on this particular firm so related to him. haiyoh. so next up, bump into him? .


sun sets @ 2:21 PM

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

wahaha.. my prof thinks driving a tractor down ecp is funny. Wahaha... YAR! i should try getting hold of a tank and driving it down in ECP. Haiz... Why am i still sitting in this class? *yawnz* i rather be in the office working now. Haiz. 
Mid week! Shiok. Tt's some money in my account now. BUT so sadly i'm not paid weekly. :(


sun sets @ 11:16 AM

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a part of me feel like just going into recluse. Back into the shell that i once hid in, a shell that few pple know the secret entrance and manage to linger for awhile within my shell. blehz.
is it that obvious?!?! haiz.


sun sets @ 2:18 AM

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

i'm alwiz so amused by this prof of mine. I've taken 3 of her classes and yet she still never fails to amuse me. As i type this, this silly billy prof of mine is jumping around looking for the white board dustor. So she pulls and pushes the whiteboard all over the place, interchanging the layers in hope of finding her white board duster. She's so blur and muddle-headed. And super technologically unsavvy. Emails dun serve her. Only phones do, which only reminds me of how she once called me early in the morning, only to discover i was still sleeping. Haha... And she flashed us her pager just in case her techy students din know wat a pager looks like. wells, in a couple of years, i'm sure some won't know what a pager looks like. Somehow, despite it's a 830 class... i somehow look forward to her classes. Term after term... haha... So unlike the other 830 classes, which i'm harbouring thots of skipping. Wahaha... And sch is msn-unfriendly. Everyone's getting signed out.. wahahaha... 


sun sets @ 9:35 AM

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

i am cold.
i am unfeeling.
i haf a heart made of steel.
i haf my defences up.
sometimes that's how i feel. i can be pretty emotionless. maybe not emotionless but rather a lack in the range and intensity of emotions. now that i'm back from exchange for more than a month, i dun really feel anything much. i'm kinda integrated back to the lifestyle here. sometimes i would miss europe but the feeling doesn't stay for long. i miss sweden but i only miss it for the peace n tranquility n the nature that i get there. reminiscing is good but it doesn't do much good to the system. much as i would love to be back there, there isn't a part of me that would actively seek to relive the days there. i dun bother finding ways to get back to that country or that continent, neither do i go my way to make friends with friends from the exchange country. somehow i know if i were to go back there, it's solely out of travel n maybe work but chances are slim. So i can't bother myself to even bother to think or dream about it. instead i concentrate on making my life here better. ultimately i guess this is the place i still call home. and despite all the good things other countries can offer, this is still home. But i dun deny that i would love to be overseas and seek a job that sends me abroad n i'm perfectly fine being overseas.
i guess i'm just being practical here.
similarly it's weird how i'm so not interested in guys.... not even cute meatballs. they r cute but somehow i dun go gaga over them. sometimes i wish i was like the others who can go gaga over some SGs. just be happy for the moment and bring some excitment into life. but then again it's so not meeeeee... watever lah... there's something else in guys that i'm looking for bah... wahahaha...
Pretty happy with my life now... just one thing missing.... been missing for awhile n will continue to be missing... well at least now i haf time for all my friends & all those whom i've let walk thru the doors of steel.
it's back to another week.


sun sets @ 6:14 PM

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Rochester rocks man! The whole stretch of it seems really nice... shall check them out one by one soon. Wahaha... But that can only be done with a car... Dun really want to go there without a car though. So today i checked out no. 5. The chinese restaurant. The peking duck is really GOOD. OMG. It just melts in your mouth. Esp the fats. Wahaha... Hit my fat consumption quota for the week manz. But it's a atas place... everything seems pretty ex... or at least the dinner was ex. Wahaha... Saw a number of pwetty cars there lorz. LOL. Be back there when i earn enough. Keke...

Enough of the glutty side of me. Portfolio is fun but yet not fun at the same times. The thot of being able to invest n play the market with dummy money is exhilarating. BUT having to draw up the paper work n submit it as a project paper is a real turn off and fun spoiler. Till date... policy has been drawn up in i would say a very unprofessional way but we still dunno wat stocks, bonds m MFs to invest in. HOW? HOW? HOW? Wat a bitch. I wish my financial sense is a lil better. Blehz. Let me pick the right stuff to buy manz! All these reading is making me CONFUSED! *stars is all i see*
Back to portfolio-ing... Haiz...


sun sets @ 1:38 AM

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Saturday, September 09, 2006

crawled up for kickboxing this morning. KB's fun but tiring. All the kicking n boxing and the different moves... testing of my physical strength n endurance n my physcho moto skills... which i've gladly concluded that i haf almost none. Haha.. But nonetheless i still enjoyed kickboxing. N nothing beats attending a class with my fellow gym buddy... and we end up laughing @ you de mei de. Wahaha.. Shall pick up the pace @ KB next week. So fun! Dun disturb me lor... or not u'll see a box or flying kick coming ya way. Haha...
Sushi tei for lunch! The raffles city one is PWETTY. SO atas looking.
Oh and it's damn shiok to face to comp screens! Wahaha.. One processor.. 2 screens. Damn good for doing projects. Wahaha... Shall consider setting up one @ home. Had a pretty good day one. Somehow i realize i diverted from my original return to home plans. But it doesn't really matter. This opportunity is equally good n enriching... at least can gain more experience n insight into this world before i decide to settle down in the banking industry. Would love to steer towards my original plan of taking up insurance licence. Prolly after this sem. That would be another type of exposure. Mr Aw dun worry... u'll haf one less competitor for now.. Wahaha.. Got another job lookout from my dearest friend. Dunno.. would love to apply for it but somehow i dun think my grades can get me there. Blehz. But prolly no harm trying. Wahaha...


sun sets @ 1:59 AM

(0) rays of light

Friday, September 08, 2006

here comes my weekend. not much of it to speak about... but at least the thot of having an earlier weekend makes me happy.
so celebrated the start of the weekend pretty much fuitfully... after a whole 5 hours of classes. But classes haf been made bearable with my fellow 2 course mates whom i did a minute to minute countdown to the weekend. And less the pop quiz, the other class was fun too.. at least i've got classes with pple i'm comfy with. After awhile it gets tiring going for classes n trying to make friends or triyng to strike conversation with pple u dun really know. So yar... looked forward to all the after class activities. WAHAHAHA... Wat's new manz...
Walked ard... visited esplanade... kinda went on a rediscover the country kind of thin... okie.. maybe not that much... but ya lah... basically was like being touristy... WAhahaha... i must admit it's quite fun... i really dun mind finding some days to discover this place where i've spent the past 21 years of my life... n the next dunno how many yrs... Somehow i kinda miss esplanade.. not that used to hang out there a lot though... but i guess it's the memories.. and the weather was pretty shiok to just stand on the top floor to enjoy the breeze though photographers would attest to the hazy skys. Wahahaha...
Watched lil man which kinda sucks. it was fine in the start but somehow it got draggy... ok.. mayb i was just tired.... i just felt like falling aslp. Blehz... Where's the shoulder to lie on?!?!? (shit stirring is forbidden!)
Then met the boss n owner for drinks. Wohooo... I just love that place... then and now still love it. Singer tonite not bad too lah... Drink n drink. Blehz... But only realize i'm a lil on high when i left. Threaded into the topic i dun really want to talk abt but i did. Din know how known someone was.. wahahaha... anw discovered something. It was a bittersweet feeling talking abt stuff, Bitter coz the bolts to the chest box called memory was open. Sweet coz the thots made me smile and i really realize how ok i'm with talking abt it. Not feeling :( anymore @ the mention. But nonetheless it doesn't dispell the pain from surfacing. it's just more controlled now. Had a good nite drinkinh n talking cock.
End of drinking session meant meeting another bunch of smarties. Make me feel stupid only. HAha... But it was fun talking to them. It would be real nice to be living alone there lah. Blehz...
HAd more than enough testosterone for the day... really is a lot. Geez...
Is a happy gal...
Is a higher gal...
But all is well ... tons of thots abt love n relationship... but the high n sleepy gal shall head to bed. blog another day... ciaoz...


sun sets @ 4:10 AM

(0) rays of light

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

*dulan*
brought my darling to sch today so that i can officially start on my mugger toad track. and so wonderful... i got logged out of the frigging sch system. ok... nvm... at least can still use my administrator's account to log in... that said and done... decided to try my luck and managed to log back via the sch account. Happy lah.... means i can print all my notes... BUT guess wat.. it screwed up my msn. diaoz. really is not msn friendly... NOW my msn emoticons are all gone. No more display pix. ~!@#$%^&*()_ WTF lah. Hai... prof also use msn. staff also use msn. why must the sch be so msn unfriendly?!?!?! BLEHZ.
Next time shall just bring my new darling to sch instead. it's not sch friendly so the darn sch can't screw up my system. wahahaha...


sun sets @ 1:15 PM

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

my watch is getting looser. Wahaha... Manage to fit into one more skirt! Wahahaha... Till then... 


sun sets @ 10:57 AM

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troubles falling sleep. wished i had some sleeping pills. blehz.
in a couple of hours i'll be having troubles keeping awake. oh well.
some things to look forward to...
1) catching Click with jo & esther... like finally
2) cable ski on wed with lp & sc
3) steamboat dinner with the gals
4) equinox on wed nite
5) mambo... still considering
6) MJ session. short of 1 kaki.


sun sets @ 3:27 AM

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Monday, September 04, 2006

If i could diligently hit the gym like i supper every night... i'll be back in shape real soon. But since it's the other way around... i'll soon turn to this shape called ROUND. needs more exercise buddies...


sun sets @ 4:10 PM

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been feeling a tad anti-social of late. weekends are just spent at home, lazing ard, being a couch potato, sleeping, and just waiting for pple to get me out. even though i dun accede to all invitations. i get restless as alwiz but the drive to arrange an outing just isn't there. i realise that i've been missing out so much of my friends' lives, be it just talking to them, meeting up with them or just simply reading their blogs & logging in to locked posts. it feels like so much is happening around me but yet my life has come to a standstill with everyone zooming by me. just give me one week to be with nature and i'll be thankful for that.

days here seem so meaningless. day in, day out is nothing but being part of a routine, a routine that we've been brought up to endure thru. we're been taught to study n get that paper which will ultimately land us a job and thereafter join the crazy rat race and vial to climb the corporate ladder. but ultimately what do we want? Money? Status? Wealth? is that what we all we yearn for? on the top of our minds, these r the things that we seek to desire. coz we've been shown that these are all that matters. somehow underlying all these, we do not actually know what we want coz we are so caught in this rat race and trying to accumulate all these. and this word 'enough' doesn't exist for us. we're just part of a system, going by each day.
so what if we knew wat we want in life, not many pple have the courage to break free from this system. conformity is everywhere. anything out of the norm is seen to be ostracised and who wants to be ostracised? so conforming seems like the only way - conforming to this system which brings us thru life and is our safety net.
i know what i want but am i doing anything about it? no. coz i'm just another one of those churned out from the factory to parttake in this system. i may talk about my ideals n dreams but my body still goes by with the system while my soul and mind floats off to seek that utopia. it's sad to be aware of that. and it doesn't help that i've made the choice to join the rat race earlier than i need to. i just want to be financially independent.

somedays i wake up feeling like i'm at peace with myself but yet on other days prove otherwise. this state of mind, i can't seem to figure. dunno what i've been preoccupied with either. mind's a blank, so is the heart. or maybe i do know, just pulling another me stunt of running. someone once said that another person will never be able to step in if thy heart has reserved a place for someone else. but what if the reserved place is for someone who might never step in? hai. been hearing so many bgr stories and how troublesome things get. will i ever get back into another one? *shrugs* but i guess i will haf to one day since in a couple of years i dun see myself being let off the hook of being questioned abt the existance of the other half. neither do i want to be all alone. haha.

feel like i'm back to my days of sec sch. where i'm just all happy being ard the girlies.
time to migrate to a password protectable blog space, at least my crappy writing can only be viewed by my pals.


sun sets @ 3:50 AM

(0) rays of light

Sunday, September 03, 2006

SLEEPING DISORDER!
That's wat i'm suffering from. The number of hours that i've been awake this weekend is like prolly less than 12 hours. Haha... I keep sleeping... and falling asleep... Die... How to MUG? Haiz... And my day has turned to nite and nite turned to day. Blehz... Guess this is wat happens when the weekend comes and the nuahster in me appears. Booohooo...
--
"800 for car, 1K for me, 600 for u." quotes my mother.
Diaoz... Back to sq one lah... Haiz... Wat kind of financial planning is this??? Might as well not work.
*roll eyes*


sun sets @ 8:42 PM

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

Watched Singapore Dreaming @ some ungodly hour last nite...
Singapore Productions. I wouldn't say it's the best of the Singapore productions that i've watched, but it's one of the better few ones... not that i've watched many. I guess the way we rate local productions and foreign flicks would differ. Somehow the entertainment value and the plots in local shows can't seem to match up with foreign shows. Instead, they seem to aim at protraying something else... maybe the local lifestyles, the diversity in languages, traditions that have gone missing. It's only when u watch the images playing in front of you that you realise how much of the lil details that make up this rat-raced system, we are missing.
Local productions ain't as bad as we think of them. Indeed some are of pretty low quality but there are some that are pretty good. They are so reflective of our lives here. Good promotional movies. Wahahha... I guess we dun like watching local shows coz it's so reflective of our lifestyles. And when we're just bumming ard, we just want to be out of this system and not haf to face the screen that replays our typical lives.
And i lost my train of thots... n my ability to express my thots...


sun sets @ 11:28 PM

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Friday, September 01, 2006

Seems like cupid is on the loose of late. Pple are getting hooked up... or nto the love talk is all around... And so the typical conversation goes...
xyz: Just came back from exchange hor.
converations 1
me: yep
xyz: Go how was it?
me: Great
xyz: So got any ang moh bf or not? Or got fling or not?
me: no n no
xyz: sure or nt?

conversation 2
abc: So got bf already or not?
me: nopez
abc: dun bluff. Why no bf?
me: ...

Well... how to ans that kind of qn? Just no guy lor... if it's so easy to find a guy then everyone would be happy... no need all the tears and miseries from breakups lorz... so maybe all the good guys are taken liaoz... muahaha... and so in the eyes of the guys... all the good gals have been taken liaoz... Hmmm... does tt leaves those of us untaken to be less desirable? WAhahaha...


sun sets @ 11:31 AM

(0) rays of light

[profile]
name: 文文
DoB: 11th December
sign: Sagittarius
email: icyarrow@yahoo.com
msn: littletwinkles@hotmail.com
skype: littletwinkles
location: sunny island
addicted to travelling

[cast ya shadow]


[Sweat level]
Singapore
Click for Singapore, Singapore Forecast
Jonkoping
Click for Jonkoping, Sweden Forecast

[fellow stars]

[memory lane]
21st birthday
21st with my darlings
X'mas dinner 2005 with SK
Goteburg trip
Stockholm trip - under construction
Kiruna trip

[genie stop here]
:: lose weight::
:: bask in the companionship of my friends::
:: be the happy gal::
:: the love one ::
:: wisdom::
:: a new job::
:: my ideal end state of my life::


shar hearts u
*muakz*